Dive into the archives.
- #9102
Reporter: “I actually think polygamy could help the economy.”
- #9097
Reporter quoting source: “It’s a quality of standard. Even our thugs say yes ma’am and no ma’am.”
- #9093
Reporter talking to a source after-hours on Valentine’s Day: “Sorry I interrupted your date, I forget other people have lives sometimes.”
- #9092
Reporter: “Did you get the Arizona Perv story?” Editor: “What perv?” Reporter: “Arizona.” Editor: “I’m getting all the pervs mixed up.”
- #9090
Assignment editor to photographer: “The trouble with civilians is that they don’t understand the emergency of everything.”
- #9086
Reporter to someone on the phone: “Well, let me tell you, we’re not going to call you a pedophile. We’re just going to call you a sex offender.”
- #9084
Reporter: “I once saw a Michael Bolton concert. I didn’t like his music, but I liked his spirit.”
- #9081
Managing Editor describing mug shot to copy desk: “He looked rough. Not Nick Nolte Rough.”
- #9078
Reporter to reader on phone: “Well sir, I wasn’t trying to write the entire history of country music.”
- #9077
Reporter, before picking up main news line: “Please don’t be crazy.”
- #9074
Reporter: “God this source is so helpful. I want to marry him and have transparency in government babies.”
- #9072
Lifestyles editor: “What’s the name of that syndrome when you’re always happy?” Editor in chief: “Sorority girls?”
- #9068
Sports reporter, commenting on the 2012 Republican presidential primaries: “What’s going to happen is all the candidates are going to try to jack each other off. I mean up. Jack each other up.”
- #9061
On the newsroom scanner: EMT: “You said you were bleeding from somewhere. Are you bleeding?” Patient mumbles something. EMT: “Oh, you mean female type?” Dispatcher: “Open mic, open mic, open mic.”
- #9045
Editor to weirdo on the phone: “If you want to have a blog you have to generate your own content. It’s not that hard.”
- #9043
Sports editor: “I remember when swimming wasn’t any good around here. And a good day was when only 2 swimmers drowned during a meet.”
- #9042
To nervous caller, in a soothing voice: “It’s OK, I’m an assignment editor. You can tell me.”
- #9038
Reporter: “Wow, this missing woman is super cute. I think she just kidnapped my heart.”
- #9037
Reporter to editor: “At first I thought it was another one of my crazies bitching about that highway, but it turns out that the DOT really does want to knock his house down. I’m so excited!”
- #9033
Reporters discussing being assigned to cover 60 day session of state legislature: Reporter 1: “Great. Two months of an asshole festival.” Reporter 2: “No. This is worse. An asshole festival would be much less boring.”
