Dive into the archives.
- #9015
Reporter 1: “Wow, this computer is being slow.” Reporter 2: “On the list of things that don’t require a ‘wow’: Our computers being slow.”
- #9005
Copy editor: “Don’t you ever stop being emo?” Reporter: “Well, I am on Tumblr.”
- #9003
Co-worker trying to explain a computer problem to IT: “My computer is making airplane-style noises.”
- #8990
Reporter: “They just confirmed it… wait… they just re-tweeted her. That’s not confirmation. That’s just doubling down.”
- #8974
Reporter after repeatedly saying he can only hear half of what his interviewee is saying on the phone: “You know what always sucks about calling and interviewing activists? They’re also too poor to afford a phone that works.”
- #8965
Copy aide attempting to use printer: “But it says ‘data received.’” Copy editor: “That’s just the machine’s way of saying ‘fuck you.’”
- #8960
Reporter who is unfamiliar with Quark, laying out a page: “How do I get the text to run around these ads? I mean, doesn’t it just want to stay away from them?”
- #8957
Photographer with a new camera strap: “I can’t wait to try this strap on.”
- #8951
Editor in Chief at college newspaper: “At least this semester we have a sports editor who will fill out photo requests.” Copy editors: [Applause.]
- #8940
Web producer: “I already have 2 retweets on the dog sex story.”
- #8932
Director over headsets: “I found a cell phone by the switcher. It’s mine now! Feel free to keep paying for it though.”
- #8930
Photographer on the way to an ongoing shootout: “I don’t want to die tonight, I just downloaded a new book on my Kindle.”
- #8929
Reporter: “I keep getting all these whores following me on Twitter.”
- #8904
Online Editor: “I suck at headlines. There’s a shorter word for everything.” Editor: “You need an app for that.”
- #8887
Copy editor: “If our computer system keeps moving this slow we’re going to have to re-book the front page because there’s going to be a murder.”
- #8859
Anchor yelling at Producer 1: “I realize you get here 5 hours before I do and make 20,000 less, but this is unacceptable.” Producer 2: “Does he not realize you control the prompter.” Producer 1: “10 bucks he doesn’t realize his name is now Asshole in the scripts.”
- #8814
Reporter, to reader who called in: “Well I don’t know why Google would do that to you.”
- #8807
Photog handing off memory cards: “Here are the chips from the scene.” Producer: “Thanks for putting all your chips on the table.”
- #8801
Reporter listening to scanner: “There’s a chase involving a man with a moped.” Editor: “Do we know why he’s being chased?” Reporter: “Could be for traffic violation, drugs or three murders, who knows? I’ll keep listening.” Editor: “Great. Red Rum is exactly what we need.”
- #8794
Editor, while another editor is using a manual pencil sharpener: “What’s that sound?” Reporter: “It sounds like the 1990s.”
