Dive into the archives.
- #8963
Reporter looking to move on a story about prostitution for the next news bulletin: “What can I do with a prostitute at 10 a.m.?”
- #8957
Photographer with a new camera strap: “I can’t wait to try this strap on.”
- #8902
Reporter: “Oh, wow. I actually got the sexy lady calendar in my public records request!”
- #8896
Copy editor: “Can I put kissing lesbians in the paper?” News editor: “I’m trying to think if that would add or subtract from readership.”
- #8883
Reporter: “One of the returned veterans even HIT on me!” Editor: “If I just got back from war, I’d jump on the first thing I saw, too.”
- #8874
Producer: “Find me some hard news and stick it in.”
- #8826
Female managing editor: “I’d just like to say I’ve never had an affair with Herman Cain.”
- #8823
Reporter: “How do I write this and not sound sexual?” Producer: “What is it?” Reporter: “A story on Herman Cain. I want to say he blew his shot at the Presidency.”
- #8816
Former editor, upon learning two reporters are in a relationship: “Did you guys ever do it on my desk?” Reporter: “On YOUR desk, no.”
- #8793
Managing Editor: “I could use a prostitute.” Reporter: “What will you do with a prostitute?” Managing Editor: “Well I could waste my money and have sex with him or maybe he could write an article or something.”
- #8779
Photo intern: “Is it going to be weird if I hit up the news editor after the internship ends?” Reporter: “Yeah, you should always follow up.” Photo intern: “No, not professionally — I mean like sexually.”
- #8760
Copy Editor: “Speaking of Weiner, did you check your email?”
- #8740
Editor on a story about a saxophonist: “Would it be inappropriate to use the headline ‘Hot Sax’?”
- #8705
Reporter: “A student filed a lawsuit accusing an instructor of failing her because she wouldn’t complete a masturbation assignment for a Human Sexuality course.” Producer: “Maybe if she completed the assignment she wouldn’t be so worked up over it!” Reporter: “EXACTLY!”
- #8671
Female anchor: “I love how these pants fit me. They’re my favorites.” Male anchor: “Mine too. And I don’t mean that in a Herman Cain way.”
- #8616
Editor 1: “This thing is full partial quotes.” Editor 2: “Partial quotes, the herpes of newsrooms.”
- #8593
Discussing the (allegedly) herpes-infected monkey loose in Ohio: Writer 1: “Ohio news outlets are going to have to put out a warning: ‘Don’t f— the monkey.” Writer 2: “Just this once. Restrain yourselves. Even though it has a pretty mouth.” Producer: “Wait, how did the monkey get herpes?” Writer 2: “Probably in college, like everybody [...]
- #8588
Internet director: “Is there a meth bust or a sex offense? That’s all I’ve done today.”
- #8577
In reference to prostitution bust of pastor: “Vessels of the Lord need pieces of ass too.”
- #8553
“Interviews are like a one-night stand, it’s always awkward when you have to leave.”
