Dive into the archives.
- #5855
Editor, when ordered to cut a sex-ed story to 20 inches: “Is this what’s known as whacking off?”
- #5820
Editor 1: “Our network is so slow, I can’t even watch last night’s council meeting online without it pausing to buffer the video every five seconds.”
Editor 2: “Yeah, but at least we don’t have to worry about anyone watching online porn.”
- #5818
Editor, discussing municipal decision to spend $8 million on a flag pole, and a joke that Viagra will sponsor it: “Without any wind, the flag will go limp.”
Reporter: “Someone will have to blow it.”
- #5737
Managing Editor: “That was the climax of the evening.”
Editor in Chief: “You shouldn’t say ‘climax’ in the office.”
- #5695
Photographer looking for a visual aid for a reporter: “On a news related note — does anyone have a condom?”
- #5653
Reporter, quoting a barbecue restaurant operator on why he doesn’t put sauce on his merchandise: “‘I like to let my meat speak for itself,’ can we use that as a pull quote?”
- #5613
Editor of a community newspaper: “Get a picture of the sex party candidate with some props. Whips are ok, dildos are not.”
- #5594
Editor: “I like to use the word ‘sex’ in a headline if I can.”
- #5576
Metro Editor: “How do we feel about masturbation here at the Times?”
Copy Editor: “Location, location, location.”
- #5568
Editor, after hearing about the new “Milk Party” movement aimed at improving children’s lives: “Let me know when the MILF Party starts.”
- #5559
Editor to copy desk: “Who has porn open? Anyone? No one? What’s wrong with this place?!”
- #5548
Reporter on his first election night: “I’m getting a newserection.”
- #5529
Reporter: “You’re not a gigolo unless you are getting paid.”
Deputy Editor: “I’m like the Legal Aid of gigolos.”
- #5526
Web producer to reporters: “We have to post more stories before people leave work. I can’t compete with porn!”
- #5516
Producer: “Lady Gaga says she’s afraid someone’s going to take her creativity through her vagina.”
Entertainment writer: “Well, that IS where I keep mine.”
- #5510
Sports reporter talking on the phone: “Yes, you can send it over. And the bigger the better I’ve heard, as far as reproduction goes.”
- #5505
Newsroom brainstorming on the closing of a local Hooters restaurant, Managing Editor: “Sagging economy busts Hooters.”
- #5478
Anchor suggesting anti-teen pregnancy PSA copy: “Do you want to have fun, or you want to have a future? Don’t fornicate before your time.”
- #5475
City editor after a reporter explains what a Tumblr is and why the paper should have one: “So, it’s like a blog orgy?”
- #5461
Reporter: “Unexpectedly, I got 12 inches from the Jonas Brothers.”
Copy editor: “That’s about 4 inches per brother. Seems about right.”
