Dive into the archives.
- #9229
Reporter: “This place is so glum. It’s like the whole office is the obit desk. We’re writing about the death of the newspaper industry.”
- #9225
Editor: “Our phones in the newsroom seem to have gone down.” IT support: “Can you get by for the night without them?” Editor: “Well, we are trying to put out a newspaper. So probably not.”
- #9222
Photo Chief: “You would think in a newsroom we’d have something more interesting to talk about than cake in the break room.” Reporter: “Uh, have you ever been in a newsroom?”
- #9219
Editor: “We have 78 inches of obits in tomorrow’s paper. I don’t think we’re going to have any subscribers left.”
- #9217
Editor: “Is today ‘Take your kid to work day’? I would have brought my cat.”
- #9216
Photographer overhearing police scanner accident: “It sounds bad, but I’m not going out there if there’s no one injured.”
- #9215
Managing Editor, while reading news briefs: “Did you guys know that Newt Gingrich suspended his campai-A CAT WAS BORN WITH BACKWARDS LEGS!”
- #9211
Editor to staff: “How the hell are we going to cover a flood, we don’t have a boat.”
- #9210
Anchor: “What are you covering today?” Reporter: “My ass.”
- #9209
Editor-in-Chief: “Microwaving taco meat in a cup. Typical night at the office.”
- #9208
Layout editor: “I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone of fucking journalism.”
- #9206
Chief reporter on phone to hospital: “I’m checking the condition of the patient involved in the man v horse incident. Stable condition? Are you being funny?”
- #9204
Managing Editor: “It’s a horrifying task, but we have to add another point to the orgasm honor code to fill the space.” News Editor: “For journalism!”
- #9203
Reporter: “I was just told I was doing a really good job although I haven’t done ANYTHING in three hours.”
- #9202
Reporter: “He can’t write his way out of a wet paper bag.” News Director: “Yeah, but he is very, very good looking.”
- #9200
Writer: “Hey, I caught a typo on the aerial photographers story. Editor: “How old are the interns? Ariel is a Disney princess.”
- #9196
Reporter after an email exchange with a source who wanted to change his quotes after the fact: “If you don’t want to be quoted, then shut your mouth!”
- #9195
Opinion editor: “It’s more than seven inches. It’s good.”
- #9194
Editor assigning a reporter to look into a potential story based on second- and third-hand reports: “I don’t understand it because I’m not aware of it.”
- #9192
TV Producer: “I don’t have time to be passive-aggressive any more. I’m just going to go with aggressive.”
