Dive into the archives.
- #9071
“I just Febrezed the shit out of the newsroom.”
- #9069
Reporter: “I used to interview sources using only sexual innuendo.”
- #9059
News editor, with cleaning wipes in hand: “Anyone need anything cleaned?” Copy editor: “My soul.”
- #9056
Evening anchor to photog, speaking about him and a producer: “The two of you are kind of scary. Like an unholy bearded alliance.”
- #9054
Reporter: “I want to cover all the sex, mating, and alcohol stories.” Producer: “Sounds like a good beat to me.”
- #9053
Copy editor 1: “I’m dearly departing.” Copy editor 2: “Don’t say that. You’re just leaving.” Copy editor 1: “I’m a headline writer. I have to say it uniquely. How about, ‘I’ll catch you bitches on the flip side’?”
- #9049
Editor: “If the monorail stopped running, would anyone care?” Assistant Editor: “Not me. I rode it once. It cost me $11 and I didn’t even get to go where I wanted to go.” Editor: “I’ve had dates like that.”
- #9048
Copy editor: “Why are you so good at this? It’s like you do what I tell you to do.” Sports editor: “You can add that to the list of things I’ve never heard from a girl before.”
- #9036
Editor: “The most dangerous place in the newsroom is between me and the pizza.”
- #9034
10 p.m. producer to overnight producer: “The printer is out of toner and everyone forgot to order more. So, when you want to print you have to go upstairs.” Overnight producer: “That’s the third floor.” 10 p.m.: “Yes, it sucks.” Overnight producer: “The anchors can get their own scripts.”
- #9032
Editor to photographer heading to shoot potentially explosive meeting: “Why don’t you just go, and see if you get thrown out.”
- #9031
Anchor: “Oh look, more jail mail!”
- #9030
About the confetti thrown at the Giants’ ticker-tape parade: “I wonder if the bags of shredded paper contain important legal docs we could reassemble.”
- #9029
Anchor to cameraman’s young son: “Are you going on a drug raid with daddy today?”
- #9025
Reporter: “So I was sick at home yesterday, so I called this source on my cell phone — big mistake. She left a message for me this morning about how she was watching a murder mystery last night on television — topless — yeah, topless because she was having a hot flash.”
- #9024
High school sports reporter: “The kid burped in my recorder. I should spell his name wrong.”
- #9017
Reporter: “This crazy lady who says she’s missing is in the lobby for an interview.” Executive Producer: “Is she crazy?” Producer: “Is she naked?”
- #9012
Reporter who went to a concert the night before: “I was looking around and it was like, hipster, hipster, hipster, guy who looks like our managing editor — holy shit that IS our managing editor.”
- #9011
Reporter as random person walks by: “So he stuck $85,000 of heroin pellets up his butt?” Random person glares. Reporter: “Sorry.”
- #9010
Reporter 1: “Press pass around the neck, or in the wallet?” Reporter 2: “Around the neck, that way, when you cover protests, the crazies come to you.”
