Dive into the archives.
- #5855
Editor, when ordered to cut a sex-ed story to 20 inches: “Is this what’s known as whacking off?”
- #5850
Executive producer volunteering to do an on-air eating competition when no viewers came forward: “For the sake of the show, somebody’s gotta eat that burrito.”
- #5844
Reporter on columnist with hair that’s too red: “Look at her mug and tell me what her hair color is. You can’t. That wasn’t in my crayon box when I was a kid, and I had the big one.”
- #5839
Reporter: “A major hurricane, most of the troops leaving the middle east, and a presidential address! I think I just had a News-gasm.”
- #5838
Managing Editor on the phone with a caller discussing a submitted letter: “You do know Free Willy is a work of fiction.”
- #5830
City editor to caller: “Well sir, we can’t exactly call someone a crook. Okay, I will have the governor call you.”
- #5827
Copy Editor 1: “Everyone’s GPA slips in college. Mine dropped to a 3.9.”
Copy Editor 2, mocking Copy Editor 1: “Look at me, I got a 3.9.”
Copy Editor 1: “It’s not like I have anything else to be proud of. I’m working here, aren’t I? Let me have my memories.”
- #5823
Reporter: “What do you call a freelancer… ? Like, what do you put under their byline?”
Editor: “I thought that was the beginning to a joke. Like, ‘What do you call a freelancer with a 60-inch story?’”
Reporter: “You call them, ‘A reason to start drinking.’”
- #5822
30-year-old sports reporter on getting a person to do a one-minute interview: “You can just call me the one-minute man… not in that way though… not that I would know…”
- #5818
Editor, discussing municipal decision to spend $8 million on a flag pole, and a joke that Viagra will sponsor it: “Without any wind, the flag will go limp.”
Reporter: “Someone will have to blow it.”
- #5816
Editor 1 shouts out, referring to the Style section: “What’s style?”
Editor 2: “Style is taking what you have, and making it work.”
- #5815
Floor director, approaching producer about a guest segment for the early morning show: “A band?”
Producer: “A steel drum band.”
Floor director: “A STEEL DRUM BAND?!”
Producer: “A steel drum band.”
Floor director: “You owe me LOTS of coffee.”
- #5814
Student Media Adviser to Editor in Chief after a meeting: “You need to learn to be more diplomatic.”
Editor in Chief: “I am diplomatic 99% of the time. Losing my shit 1% of the time ensures that 99% doesn’t turn in to 50%.”
- #5811
Police: “Any news goin’ on today?”
Reporter: “Well, we’ve got a woman calling in about finding the end of the rainbow in her backyard. She got pictures.”
Police: “We’ll be dealing with her later in the week, probably.”
- #5808
Producer: “Here’s a developing story from my weekend: My son tried to breast feed my other son.”
- #5806
Photographer, while eating cake during budget meeting: “A life without cake is a life that is sad and empty.”
- #5796
Reporter: “Summer’s almost over. The leaves are turning colour.”
Editor: “Time to switch to whiskey.”
- #5782
Intern interviewing 70-year-old nun on the phone: “Yeah, I just thought I’d ask you about, you know, being a nun and all that good stuff.”
- #5779
Confused editor: “What does everyone have against Nickelback?”
- #5776
Copy editor: “I’d rather spend a week in prison than go to Disney World.”
