Dive into the archives.
- #9017
Reporter: “This crazy lady who says she’s missing is in the lobby for an interview.” Executive Producer: “Is she crazy?” Producer: “Is she naked?”
- #9012
Reporter who went to a concert the night before: “I was looking around and it was like, hipster, hipster, hipster, guy who looks like our managing editor — holy shit that IS our managing editor.”
- #9011
Reporter as random person walks by: “So he stuck $85,000 of heroin pellets up his butt?” Random person glares. Reporter: “Sorry.”
- #9010
Reporter 1: “Press pass around the neck, or in the wallet?” Reporter 2: “Around the neck, that way, when you cover protests, the crazies come to you.”
- #9001
Copy Editor 1: “I hope if you win the lottery you buy me a Lexus. I would buy you a Lexus.” Copy Editor 2: “The problem with the lottery is the tickets are $2 now and I couldn’t afford to play when they were still $1.”
- #9000
Angry news editor ordering reporter to a job: “Get there as quick as you can and phone me when you are outside.” Five minutes later shouting down the phone to the hack: “Phone me when you get outside the house not the bloody office!”
- #8989
Reporter to editor: “Then he told me that his dad told him to be himself and he’s just doing whatever he can to be himself. That’s what the guy in the Statue of Liberty costume told me.”
- #8986
Female reporter: “If Nancy Grace can do a cartwheel, so can I.” Photographer: “That’s a dangerous precedent.”
- #8985
Female reporter, looking at the afternoon snow forecast: “I don’t need a foot. 1 to 2 inches is plenty.” Male reporter: “We’re still talking about snow, right?”
- #8982
Senior producer on being told the temperature with windchill is -46 degrees: “Hell is not supposed to be this cold.”
- #8979
News editor: “If the Girl Scouts sold wine, I’d be a lot easier to bribe.”
- #8977
Reporter: “I find economy of words sexy. Is that weird?”
- #8975
Copy editor: “So did (sportswriter) sit at my desk over the weekend? It looks like he was foraging or something.”
- #8971
Ad saleswoman: “That’s a bunch of fuckin’ shit. By the way, who is this?”
- #8965
Copy aide attempting to use printer: “But it says ‘data received.’” Copy editor: “That’s just the machine’s way of saying ‘fuck you.’”
- #8961
Female reporter preparing to go outside: “You’ve got to admit, this hat and this scarf are pretty freakin’ cute.” Male reporter: “You’re going to make it after all.”
- #8959
Reporter: “Can I use ‘remnants’ as another word for ‘gut pile’ to avoid saying ‘gut pile’ twice in a sentence?” Editor: “But we are a Montana paper — I like ‘gut pile’ better.”
- #8952
Reporter to editor: “I like when you edit me outside the confines of a newspaper article. It makes me feel like you really care.”
- #8951
Editor in Chief at college newspaper: “At least this semester we have a sports editor who will fill out photo requests.” Copy editors: [Applause.]
- #8948
Anchor after a story on World Series of Beer Pong on the weather chat: “I didn’t know what beer pong is.” Meteorologist: “Did you go to college?”
