Dive into the archives.
- #9314
Managing editor: “I screwed up. The intern doesn’t turn 21 until a couple days after the election. You have to make the liquor run on election night.” Reporter: “So why did we hire an intern?”
- #9311
Sports editor: “I have my underwear inside my pants today.”
- #9310
Editor to reporter: “Did this woman really say this? ‘We want to raise the vibrational energy of the entire city’?”
- #9308
Reporter: “It’s not Bourbon. It’s just coffee and water, I swear.”
- #9301
Male photographer, returning from shooting a fire: “I smell like a man.”
- #9297
Online editor: “I follow @SesameStreet because you’ve gotta mix the murder and mayhem with muppets.”
- #9296
Editor: “So, this chicken nugget is on eBay?”
- #9283
Male reporter: “My focus is my package.” Female producer: “I’m sure it is. You’re a dude.”
- #9282
Reporter on the phone: “I don’t know how to calculate at cat’s ‘real’ age.”
- #9280
Traffic reporter, to the morning anchor’s toddler: “I know you! I’ve seen you on Twitter.”
- #9271
Cops reporter: “I actually ate lunch today and now I feel all bloated.”
- #9262
While watching newscasts: “Why does the other station have a motorcycle in their television studio?”
- #9261
News editor on election night: “We’ll be burping and farting all night.”
- #9260
Reporter: “I left home without my notepad this morning. I feel like I’m missing my pants or something.”
- #9257
“Everybody gather around, something disgusting is happening.”
- #9256
Editor: “This ice wine counterfeit issue in China is actually a huge, huge problem.” Reporter: “Whatever, just give me some grape Kool-Aid and some Everclear.”
- #9254
Reporter: “What if there were a Hunger Games but with journalists? Each newspaper sends one female and one male reporter. And then they cut and stab each other with pica poles.”
- #9248
Reporter 1, speaking about allergy medication: “This says take one every two hours.” Reporter 2: “Immediately I take two. That means good shit happens.”
- #9245
Sub-Editor to Graphic Designer, who’s been hunched over his iPhone for a good half an hour: “Are you playing Draw Something?”
- #9242
Photographer: “Just got an email wondering if I would photograph guests at an event in exchange for hanging out with a live baby cheetah.” Web reporter: “This is an obvious yes.”
