Dive into the archives.
- #7820
Female cop reporter after a male cop reporter rushed her to file a story: “He pisses me off more than any husband could.”
- #7678
Producer to Associate Producer: “Will you let everyone know that the News Director brought his 5-year-old son to work today, and we should keep the profanity at a minimum.” Associate Producer yells across the room: “Hey everyone! There are little kids in the building today, so it’s not OK to say fuck or shit or [...]
- #7672
Photographer running out of the newsroom: “I’ll miss the ham glazing if I don’t get my ass in gear.”
- #7663
Police scanner: “He says he unable to arouse his wife this morning.” Reporter: “Sounds like he needs Viagra, not an ambulance.”
- #7656
Reporter, talking to managing editor while her cell-phone is ringing: “It’s just my mom, nothing important.”
- #7621
Editor makes his wife cancel her hair appointment because of the tornado threat. After four hours of nothing: “We better have a tornado or my ass is grass when I get home.”
- #7588
Sub Editor 1, after answering his mobile phone to a telemarketer: “No I don’t believe that. No. Look can you not bother me with stuff like this please?” Sub Editor 2: “Was that the wife again?”
- #7540
Sports Editor: “Cutting from this story is like punching my child in the face.” Managing Editor: “Well, some days you just have to see your child get beat up.”
- #7478
Copy Editor: “There are guys with AK-47s at the Pizza Hut.” Managing editor: “What!? My wife works at Pizza Hut.” [phone rings] Managing editor: “No! No! No! Go inside! We got a reporter to take pictures, he is on the way.” [caller speaks] Managing editor: “Yeah, just cheese is fine.”
- #7406
Reporter, talking to boss who just recently had a baby boy: “I’m sure he’ll be able to write stories in a couple years.” Boss: “I hope so; we need freelancers.”
- #7403
Correspondent: “Is it sad that I spoke to the city spokesman longer than I did my to boyfriend?”
- #7389
Editor 1, after looking at a study of divorce rates by career: “I find it hard to believe that ‘Media’ tops the list of lowest rate.” Editor 2: “That’s because we never get married.”
- #7344
Producer wife to photographer husband: “Be safe. No strippers.”
- #7343
Reporter, finishing a story on a Friday evening: “Am I keeping you here?” Editor 1: “Why, yes.” Editor 2: “You know what’s keeping me here? A mortgage, two kids and a bad economy.”
- #7287
An assistant editor, after hearing that a local coach and his son were arrested on drug-related charges: “It’s heartwarming to see fathers and sons working together like this.”
- #7311
Reporter 1: “I thought you said you were home schooled.” Reporter 2: “No, I wasn’t home schooled.” Editor: “That makes your prom story a little less creepy.”
- #7301
Reporter: “This is the most frustrating experience of my life.” Editor: “You soooo should have come to my second marriage.”
- #7236
Managing editor talking to a writer: “I can’t help but edit people’s writing now. I recently edited my girlfriend’s valentines day card when she used the wrong you’re.”
- #7175
Editor: “Someone’s going to write a term paper on you.” Sports guy: “My mother said that about me once.”
- #7164
Managing editor: “Last night I watched Spider-Man 3 with my 4-year-old son, and when the menu came on it showed all the characters. When it showed the Daily Bugle staff, he said ‘I don’t like them.’ I asked him why and he said ‘They’re boring.’”
