Dive into the archives.
- #8420
Reporter: “Unlike some, I am not panicking about the approaching hurricane. I suggest, however, that you use a black Sharpie to write your blood type and next of kin on yourself. Preferably on your torso and each limb, in case they get separated.”
- #8358
Sub Editor 1, who sent a text message to a colleague congratulating her on giving birth: “Oh it turns out she’s not actually had the baby yet.” Sub Editor 2: “Trust us to always be right up with the news.”
- #8337
Receptionist: “That’s your woman on the phone.” Reporter: “Can you be more specific?” Receptionist: “Your wife.” Reporter: “Ugh, that one.”
- #8325
Reporter: “I just want to go home and kiss my cat.”
- #8279
Reporter 1 to Reporter 2 at 6:27 p.m.: “Go home. Go fuck with someone else.”
- #8270
Copy editor: “The ‘teen’ in this working teens photo looks about 25.” Assistant Editor: “Well, he was born before they knew you can’t give kids milk with growth hormones in it.”
- #8204
Cops reporter calling his wife back while on deadline: “Sorry, I had to go ask someone whether ‘genitalia’ is plural.”
- #8163
Editor: “Are you willing to relocate to get into this industry?” Intern: “Definitely. I don’t plan on getting married or having kids.” Editor: “Perfect! You really are a journalist.”
- #8148
Editor, speaking to his wife on the phone: “You’re on speaker, so don’t say anything weird.”
- #8056
Reporter 1 on the phone: “Just next time you see an accident, get a photo.” Reporter 2: “Was that a dumb intern?” Reporter 1: “No… my boyfriend.”
- #8016
Reporter: “I know the phone number to the National Weather Service by heart, but not my wife’s cell number.”
- #7936
Editor to reporters: “First of all, my kids would never leave their cages.”
- #7820
Female cop reporter after a male cop reporter rushed her to file a story: “He pisses me off more than any husband could.”
- #7678
Producer to Associate Producer: “Will you let everyone know that the News Director brought his 5-year-old son to work today, and we should keep the profanity at a minimum.” Associate Producer yells across the room: “Hey everyone! There are little kids in the building today, so it’s not OK to say fuck or shit or [...]
- #7672
Photographer running out of the newsroom: “I’ll miss the ham glazing if I don’t get my ass in gear.”
- #7663
Police scanner: “He says he unable to arouse his wife this morning.” Reporter: “Sounds like he needs Viagra, not an ambulance.”
- #7656
Reporter, talking to managing editor while her cell-phone is ringing: “It’s just my mom, nothing important.”
- #7621
Editor makes his wife cancel her hair appointment because of the tornado threat. After four hours of nothing: “We better have a tornado or my ass is grass when I get home.”
- #7588
Sub Editor 1, after answering his mobile phone to a telemarketer: “No I don’t believe that. No. Look can you not bother me with stuff like this please?” Sub Editor 2: “Was that the wife again?”
- #7540
Sports Editor: “Cutting from this story is like punching my child in the face.” Managing Editor: “Well, some days you just have to see your child get beat up.”
