Dive into the archives.
- #8587
Newbie reporter to city editor: “Got any advice for me?” City editor: “Marry outside the profession.” Copy editor, who also happens to be city editor’s wife: “Don’t listen to him. Don’t get married at all.”
- #8562
Reporter discussing possible assignment: “Mom stabs son?!” Assignment Editor: “Just in the knee.” Reporter: “Nevermind.”
- #8532
Special projects editor on phone with source: “It’s a good thing you didn’t marry her … Oh, you did marry her?”
- #8516
“There are a lot of things I apply journalism standards to. Except for dating. Then it’s all about lies and deception.”
- #8499
Sports editor: “Don’t talk to me about the Red Sox. My kids didn’t know the F-word before last night.”
- #8436
Copy editor: “Don’t you want to stay and help the sports desk take phone calls?” Sports clerk, who got married a year ago: “As much as I’d love to do that, during high school football season, this is when it’s nice to have a wife. It’s an excuse to go home.”
- #8462
Assignment editor, upon receiving the sketch of a suspect: “Hey, this looks like my son!”
- #8432
Scanner: “Man says his wife went out for eggs an hour ago and hasn’t returned.” Social Editor: “Check his best friend’s house.”
- #8420
Reporter: “Unlike some, I am not panicking about the approaching hurricane. I suggest, however, that you use a black Sharpie to write your blood type and next of kin on yourself. Preferably on your torso and each limb, in case they get separated.”
- #8358
Sub Editor 1, who sent a text message to a colleague congratulating her on giving birth: “Oh it turns out she’s not actually had the baby yet.” Sub Editor 2: “Trust us to always be right up with the news.”
- #8337
Receptionist: “That’s your woman on the phone.” Reporter: “Can you be more specific?” Receptionist: “Your wife.” Reporter: “Ugh, that one.”
- #8325
Reporter: “I just want to go home and kiss my cat.”
- #8279
Reporter 1 to Reporter 2 at 6:27 p.m.: “Go home. Go fuck with someone else.”
- #8270
Copy editor: “The ‘teen’ in this working teens photo looks about 25.” Assistant Editor: “Well, he was born before they knew you can’t give kids milk with growth hormones in it.”
- #8204
Cops reporter calling his wife back while on deadline: “Sorry, I had to go ask someone whether ‘genitalia’ is plural.”
- #8163
Editor: “Are you willing to relocate to get into this industry?” Intern: “Definitely. I don’t plan on getting married or having kids.” Editor: “Perfect! You really are a journalist.”
- #8148
Editor, speaking to his wife on the phone: “You’re on speaker, so don’t say anything weird.”
- #8056
Reporter 1 on the phone: “Just next time you see an accident, get a photo.” Reporter 2: “Was that a dumb intern?” Reporter 1: “No… my boyfriend.”
- #8016
Reporter: “I know the phone number to the National Weather Service by heart, but not my wife’s cell number.”
- #7936
Editor to reporters: “First of all, my kids would never leave their cages.”
