Dive into the archives.
- #5808
Producer: “Here’s a developing story from my weekend: My son tried to breast feed my other son.”
- #5747
Producer to intern: “So let me get this straight. You broke up with your abusive boyfriend, decided to do something with your life and ended up HERE? You should fire your therapist!”
- #5715
Over the scanner: “Caller says her 10 year old son won’t come inside the house. He’s standing in the street screaming. He’s upset because she made chili for dinner instead of oatmeal.”
- #5683
Editor after smashing into a desk and destroying the screen of their BlackBerry that was in their pocket: “My wife will be so happy.”
- #5659
A reporter defending the fact he wouldn’t sell his box of Mr. T cereal unless he was in a dire situation: “Why don’t you just kidnap my mother and let’s see what happens.”
- #5623
Editor, overheard on the phone to his wife: “Sometimes you can combine business with pleasure.”
- #5531
Reporter: “It would be really easy to have an affair with this job.”
- #5528
Copy editor, running across the newsroom to catch his wife before she leaves: “It’s like the end of a romance movie.”
- #5418
Ad reps discussing a party invite:
Ad rep 1: “I’ll have to pass. My wife doesn’t let me drink vodka.”
Ad rep 2: “Why not?”
Ad rep 3: “I never told you this? I threw Chinese food at her car, 26, 27 years ago. You always have to give up whatever it is you were drinking [...]
- #5398
“I wish WE had families.”
- #5370
Editor: “You’re a 20-something sports editor with the TV viewing habits of my 13-year-old daughter.”
- #5323
Editor: “It’s amazing that I’m still married.”
- #5298
Editor: “My wife left town. I’m an emotional wreck.”
Front desk secretary: “You work in the newspaper business. You’re already an emotional wreck.”
- #5267
Reporter 1 on why Reporter 2 wasn’t at the bar: “You should have thought twice before you got a husband and a baby.”
Reporter 2: “I know. I should have thought about Happy Hour.”
- #5211
Copy editor: “My mom decided to surprise me by not telling me she was running for city council. Does this mean I can’t bring the lunches she makes to work anymore?”
- #5207
“I was looking at college campuses with my teenagers this weekend — it was like trying to teach cats to swim.”
- #5131
Photog talking about wife’s speeding ticket: “Just when you think you’re getting ahead she comes in and kicks ya in the balls!”
- #5097
Veteran journalist, on hearing one of the younger reporters in the newsroom is going through a divorce: “I hate to break it to him, but you’re not a real journalist until you have two ex wives. Me? I have four. I’m that good.”
- #5058
Copy editor: “This is why I’m never having kids. If I don’t have enough patience to teach the baby interns AP Style, I don’t have enough patience to potty train a kid.”
- #5023
Copy editor 1: “I’m sorry you have to work on your birthday. There should be a law against that.”
Copy editor 2: “I’m used to it. It’s not like I have anything to do.”
