Dive into the archives.
- #3479
Pressman to Graphic Artist with a big balloon arrangement from her husband: “Guess that was cheaper than child support.”
- #3419
Editor on the phone with a reader, talking about a noise at a local power plant: “Ma’am, if I liked a constant high-pitched whine, I would never have gotten divorced.”
- #3418
Reporter to Entertainment Editor: “I never watched ‘Roseanne.’ If I wanted to watch working class white trash people argue, I could have just gone into the room with my parents.”
- #3373
Editor talking about his wife who goes to sleep early each night: “I’m only married until 8:30.”
- #3336
Sports Editor’s wife: “And you’re a writer.
Sports Editor: “No writers have talent with words. I put crap on a page for people to see in the morning.”
- #3157
Producer: “I didn’t cry when I proposed.”
Assignment Desk Editor: “That’s because you texted me ‘winner, winner, chicken dinner.’”
- #3148
Mom to boy taking tour: “Want to see the press now?”
Boy: “Yes!”
Mom: “Know what the press room does?”
Boy: “It squeeeezes people.”
- #3147
Reporter reading the newspaper: “The best thing about that story is that it’s next to a hemorrhoid cream ad.”
- #3138
Reporter #1 to Reporter #2: “This job is killing my marriage. I should get out of one or the other, but I can’t decide.”
- #3111
“We’re like the older kids in the orphanage — the ones nobody wants.”
- #3109
Reporter (on the phone to significant other): “Hey, honey, I’m going to be late for dinner tonight… someone fell off a roof and died.”
- #3095
“She called me a dumb F-U-C-K, so I thought it was time to terminate the conversation. … I kind of thought I was married again.”
- #3070
Editor: “I’ve always thought the key to a good marriage is no sex tapes.”
- #3040
Reporter on the phone after newscast: “So mom… how close am I to being Brian Williams?”
- #3037
Photographer about new camera: “Its 22 megapixels and shoots HD video. If it vibrated I wouldn’t need a boyfriend.”
