Dive into the archives.
- #8349
Editor 1: “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.” Editor 2: “Well, you better hurry, the cafeteria closes in 10 minutes.”
- #8312
Producer: “Try not to breathe too much. It smells like skunk everywhere.” Photog: “Oh, I thought that was our ratings.”
- #8299
News editor commenting on managing editor’s pastries: “Your sticky buns are kind of stale.” Managing editor: “Go F*#&$ yourself.”
- #8294
Reporter after an interview: “I need a breath mint for all the ass I just kissed.”
- #8238
Photographer: “The company executives must be coming. The bathroom is clean and has a usable amount of soap.”
- #8219
Web editor, sniffs air: “It smells like onions. Is somebody cooking?” Editorial intern: “Oh thank God. I was just about to sniff my armpits.”
- #8206
Cops and courts reporter: “Someone stole a kitty litter box with litter still in it. That is the grossest theft I have ever heard of.”
- #8193
Web reporter: “What’s another name for newspapers?” Social media editor: “Toilet paper?”
- #8156
Reporter: “Does it make me a bad person if I laugh at a pet crematorium having the same address as a Chinese restaurant?”
- #8118
Reporter about a correction to a health article in the paper: “We’re telling people how to clean their asses and we can’t even get that right!”
- #8113
News Editor, after 4 people in the room coughed and/or sneezed loudly in succession: “I think I can hear my white blood cells holding a prayer vigil.”
- #8102
Photographer in SW Florida: “Today I left Louisiana-sweaty.”
- #8070
Editor to Intern: “It’s all about free food. You could put a bucket of lard on that table and it’d be gone by 5.”
- #8001
“We should have more diarrhea stories in the paper. That is news you can use.”
- #7837
Reporter, regarding things he’s done on the job: “Next time I do a White Castle eating contest, I’m going to cut out the middle man and just put the bag straight into the toilet. I think I’d rather be tasered again than do that contest.”
- #7825
Reporter walking away from microwave: “Sorry for the fish smell. I thought it was chicken.”
- #7732
Reporter: “What has my life come to?” Editor: “Seeking poop photos.”
- #7699
Assistant Sports Editor: “I am never going down for papers again… Why? Because there was a woman down there taking a shit with the door open.”
- #7638
Reporter after getting off the phone with the photo editor: “He’s about as friendly as a fart.”
- #7637
City editor about a terrible smell in the newsroom: “Ahhh, the joys of working at a newspaper. Let’s play ‘Guess what died in the walls this morning.’”
