Dive into the archives.
- #8940
Web producer: “I already have 2 retweets on the dog sex story.”
- #8899
Anchor: “Do you have chocolate in the candy jar?” Producer: “No. [Indicating toy] But I have jellybeans in the reindeer’s butt.”
- #8820
One reporter to another: “It seems like all of your stories are either about sex or poop.”
- #8799
Reporter 1 to reporter 2, who is feeling ill: “You throw up in this newsroom, that’s all anyone will ever remember.”
- #8773
Editor, announcing medical problem: “I’ve been a pain in the ass for years, and now I have one.”
- #8727
Producer after a complete disaster of a show: “I’ve had diarrhea cleaner than that show.”
- #8714
City editor to reporter who wrote about a poor man whose testicles weighed more than 50 pounds after contracting a disease: “You handled what I can only call the big balls story tastefully.”
- #8656
In reference to Nancy Grace’s infamous on air fart: “Are you kidding me? Did you hear that thing? It was like a sonnet!”
- #8567
Morning Producer: “Someone came on my computer and put a Trojan on it.” Male Morning Reporter: “It was a gift from me.”
- #8515
A reporter who didn’t dress appropriately for the warm weather: “My swamp ass faded my notes, and I can’t read them. Fuck my life.”
- #8488
Talking about a small corner office: “That’s where I go to fart when I have to.”
- #8483
Editor to sports guy: “You are like the dog that can’t stop chewing on the dead squirrel.”
- #8473
Managing editor: “What’s up with page two?” Copy editor: “I’ll be squeezing out the deuce as soon as I plop in the news nugget.”
- #8405
Editor: “You can’t go wrong with a photo of tainted meat.”
- #8480
Scanner: “Non-emergency response to abdominal pains at McDonald’s.” Producer: “Gee, I wonder why.”
- #8454
Sarcastic Photographer: “Taking pictures of sewage was not at all symbolic of my day.”
- #8448
Reporter 1: “We cut the head off a chicken, put it in the newsroom and whoever gets sprayed with blood gets to work on the story.” Reporter 2: “You sacrifice a chicken for every story?” Reporter 1: “Yes, we eat a lot of fried chicken.”
- #8433
Copy editor accidentally drops half-eaten apple onto dirty 15-year-old newsroom carpet: “Shit. The sum of all fears.”
- #8413
Reporter, looking at shot of dog’s crotch on the front page: “That’s definitely not the worst dog penis I’ve seen in the paper.”
- #8406
Reporter: “The mayor had sweaty pits by the time I was through with him. I would like to think it’s my interview style, but I think it’s just our lack of air conditioning in the conference room.”
