Dive into the archives.
- #9013
Reporter: “I hate talking to that guy, he has diarrhea of the mouth.” Editor: “And it’s your job as a reporter to pick the nuts out of that crap and make something that everyone will eat up.”
- #9009
Page designer: “I got the meatballs as far away from the hemorrhoids as possible.”
- #8998
Producer 1, after explaining cat’s vet visit: “So look at it this way: No matter how bad things get around here, at least solids aren’t coming out your peehole.” Producer 2: “You’re right. Can we change our tagline from ‘Your Local News Source’ to that?”
- #8969
City editor: “I probably shouldn’t be reading this dog poop story while eating lunch.”
- #8968
Scanner: “Illegal dumping in the street.” Reporter: “Is someone taking a shit on the streets in downtown, again?”
- #8962
Reporter: “I think a murder charge would look better on a criminal record than sodomy with a horse.”
- #8940
Web producer: “I already have 2 retweets on the dog sex story.”
- #8899
Anchor: “Do you have chocolate in the candy jar?” Producer: “No. [Indicating toy] But I have jellybeans in the reindeer’s butt.”
- #8820
One reporter to another: “It seems like all of your stories are either about sex or poop.”
- #8799
Reporter 1 to reporter 2, who is feeling ill: “You throw up in this newsroom, that’s all anyone will ever remember.”
- #8773
Editor, announcing medical problem: “I’ve been a pain in the ass for years, and now I have one.”
- #8727
Producer after a complete disaster of a show: “I’ve had diarrhea cleaner than that show.”
- #8714
City editor to reporter who wrote about a poor man whose testicles weighed more than 50 pounds after contracting a disease: “You handled what I can only call the big balls story tastefully.”
- #8656
In reference to Nancy Grace’s infamous on air fart: “Are you kidding me? Did you hear that thing? It was like a sonnet!”
- #8567
Morning Producer: “Someone came on my computer and put a Trojan on it.” Male Morning Reporter: “It was a gift from me.”
- #8515
A reporter who didn’t dress appropriately for the warm weather: “My swamp ass faded my notes, and I can’t read them. Fuck my life.”
- #8488
Talking about a small corner office: “That’s where I go to fart when I have to.”
- #8483
Editor to sports guy: “You are like the dog that can’t stop chewing on the dead squirrel.”
- #8473
Managing editor: “What’s up with page two?” Copy editor: “I’ll be squeezing out the deuce as soon as I plop in the news nugget.”
- #8405
Editor: “You can’t go wrong with a photo of tainted meat.”
