Dive into the archives.
- #3364
Reporter, telling his Editor that he has filed his story about gas prices: “You have gas.”
Editor: “Yeah, sorry, it was the meatball sub I had for lunch.”
- #3294
Reporter #1: “Does it seem like the hardest part of writing is just starting?”
Reporter #2: “Always. And then you get diarrhea of the fingers.”
- #3281
Environment Reporter who almost ran over a falcon: “Birds belong in the sky, not in front of my truck.”
- #3202
Director: “Our Pet of the Week crapped on set, then pissed on the studio camera.”
Producer: “Maybe he was nervous?”
Photographer: “That was my excuse, he can’t have it.”
- #3180
Producer to Reporter in the kitchen area: “Do you think the sign in the cabinet that says ‘Roach Infested! Keep Out!’ is for real, or just someone’s attempt to keep their half & half from being used?”
- #3166
Reporter #1: “Why can’t we use the water fountains as urinals?”
Reporter #2: “I’m not drinking out of a piss fountain.”
Reporter #1: It’d be really convenient a lot of times though, you have to admit.”
- #3090
Editor: “What happened to my chair… did I pee on it?”
- #3063
Editorial Assistant discussing newsroom rodent issues: “If it makes you feel any better, the mouse ate my tampons. So now we don’t have any backup.”
- #3059
Features Editor to Copy Editor: “Don’t you love the days we can put ‘diarrhea’ in a headline?”
- #3052
Intern: “This place is like a journalistic bedpan and I’m the nursing home attendant.”
- #2985
A Reporter calling back a source after putting him on hold and then hanging up: “I’m sorry I can’t come up with any excuse other than the truth, I had to vomit.”
- #2951
‘Glass half full’ Reporter commenting on the cleanliness of newsroom: “Hey, they clean this floor every year whether it needs it or not.”
- #2929
Online Editor: “‘Jersey Shore’ is like the gift that keeps on giving.”
Nearby Editor: “Yeah … like herpes.”
- #2928
Tech guy: “If you ever get trapped in the newsroom and don’t have any food, just boil Stanley’s keyboard. There’s enough food caught between the keys – you’d have a nice soup.”
- #2910
Customer calling to quit the paper: “I can’t even get my dog to do his business on your paper!”
