Dive into the archives.
- #8844
Designer: “I’m like the AP: A day late on the news!”
- #8829
Designer: “How did the F word get into the newspaper?” Copy editor: “I don’t know; that’s why we have proofreaders.” Designer: “Proofreaders? What a quaint idea. So antiquated. We should also have candle makers.”
- #8817
Reporter to Editor: “Obviously the lede changes if people die.”
- #8815
Reporter: “It’s not sloppy, it’s breaking.”
- #8795
Copy editor: “I love that our CP photos are 10 days old.” Digital reporter: “That new? We’re remarking on how recent they are, right?”
- #8769
Sports editor on the phone with a school: “Wait a minute, which school did I just call?”
- #8764
Editor to designers: “You name it, and we’ve pulled it out of our asses.”
- #8719
Producer, on airing kicker in last block: “I like to live on the edge… of glory. Like Lady Gaga.”
- #8717
Reporter 1, who hasn’t started her story: “But instead of worrying about it, I’m looking at pictures of teenage Oprah.” Reporter 2, who also hasn’t started her story: “You are my spirit animal.”
- #8707
Editor to Reporter on election night two hours before polls close: “You ate our pizza, now give us your B-matter!”
- #8696
Reporter on phone with wife: “I know. I’m sorry. A police officer got arrested for DWI.”
- #8669
General manager at a three-day weekly publication: “Every day is a production when you’re me.”
- #8662
Editor: “We’re not gonna make it, no! We’re not gonna make it! We’re not gonna make, the deadliiiineeee!”
- #8661
Online editor after a night of corralling season-finale high school football scores: “If there was such a thing, we’d be the No. 1 seed … to the journalism playoffs.”
- #8647
New editor to veteran editor, concerning Avid: “I need to master TimeWarp.” Veteran: “I need to master time.”
- #8630
Reporter: “This story keeps getting shorter the further we get past four o’clock.”
- #8621
Editor: “We need a new way to mark stories. Instead of ‘Ready’ it should be, ‘I’m just tired of looking at it.’”
- #8602
Producer to sidelined Anchor, nervous about driving a live truck to breaking news: “The fastest way to end your contract is between you and a light pole.”
- #8597
Reporter to editor discussing a quote: “Do you want me to cut it?” Editor: “I’m thinking about it.” Reporter: “It’s okay. I’m like a mother duck with my stories. I know a few chicks are going to be road kill.”
- #8586
Editor: “No one gives a flying fuck what you think. Now cobble together an editorial that reflects the publisher’s viewpoint and let’s get outta here. The bar closes in an hour.”
