Dive into the archives.
- #5848
“Okay, the whole paper is done and looks beautiful. Except for page 3, which is blank.”
- #5798
TV producer at 10:40 p.m.: “The highlight of my night was bitching about this place.”
- #5795
Copy editor to page designer: “You’re killing me, man. One keystroke at a time.”
- #5781
Editor: “So I’m only news extreme-ing this paper to make sure the word ‘fuck’ isn’t in a headline.”
Copy editor: “What about ‘shit’? Will that run?”
Editor: “Shit prints around here, fuck doesn’t.”
- #5761
Editor to copy editor: “We should get a cattle prod so we can zap reporters to get their stories done. Is that against the union contract?”
Exec. editor: “That’s against morality.”
Copy editor: “It’s improved copy flow!”
- #5711
Editor at the end of a pitch meeting: “Okay everyone, get back to it. Tens of people are eagerly anticipating the arrival of tomorrow’s paper.”
- #5572
Editor to reporter who had just come back from the scene of a structure fire: “Wow, that was quick.”
Reporter: “I hit it and quit it. That’s how just how I roll!”
- #5542
Technical Director a minute before a live tease, still anchor-less: “At this point I’ll take anyone with a hankerin’ for anchorin’.”
- #5530
Frustrated editor: “If people don’t start returning my phone calls, I’m just going to start making up the news.”
- #5513
Copy editor overhearing the TV: “Ah, Frasier, the sound of deadline.”
- #5507
Sports editor Haiku: “The papers were late / This makes me quite unhappy / It’s the newsroom’s fault.”
- #5476
Producer to newsroom after sitting through hours of breaking news: “Code red. Get me a catheter.”
- #5471
Junior sub editor to chief editor: “Why are you looking at the copies after they have gone to print?”
Chief editor: “I am looking at all the changes we could have made if we had lots of time.”
- #5444
Newsroom on deadline hears reporter rejecting a story pitch: “I don’t get what’s so hard about the letters N and O.”
Art desk with 4 late ads handed in by the publisher: “It’s because the main man has a problem with B.A.L.L.S.”
- #5419
Reporter on missing an important deadline: “Yeah sorry, I didn’t realize it was today.”
Editor: “One day I’m going to be really glad to see you work in the local school’s cafeteria.”
- #5378
Assignment editor: “I asked for 18 inches, he turned in 35.”
Copy editor 1: “Time to bust out the machete!”
Copy editor 2: “Make it the guillotine.”
- #5301
Reporter continues listening to “Ice, Ice, Baby” while saying the lyrics and moving around in his chair.
Managing Editor: “OK, I’ve got to write a story now, so put that song on ice!”
- #5242
Morning editor, responsible for posting breaking items online: “I love the smell of breaking news in the morning.”
- #5185
Page layout wiggling her eyebrows to sports editor: “I need two more inches from you.”
- #5171
Designer after being told to redesign A1 10 minutes before deadline: “I think I’m going to buy a bottle of whiskey on the way home.”
