Dive into the archives.
- #9014
Photographer to newspaper reporter: “Your story sounded good on the radio this morning.”
- #9013
Reporter: “I hate talking to that guy, he has diarrhea of the mouth.” Editor: “And it’s your job as a reporter to pick the nuts out of that crap and make something that everyone will eat up.”
- #9011
Reporter as random person walks by: “So he stuck $85,000 of heroin pellets up his butt?” Random person glares. Reporter: “Sorry.”
- #9009
Page designer: “I got the meatballs as far away from the hemorrhoids as possible.”
- #9006
Sports photographer talking about shooting a wrestling match: “Honestly, every picture had a penis in it!”
- #9000
Angry news editor ordering reporter to a job: “Get there as quick as you can and phone me when you are outside.” Five minutes later shouting down the phone to the hack: “Phone me when you get outside the house not the bloody office!”
- #8993
Editor reading the arrest report: “Apparently all anyone did between Christmas and New Year’s was toke up.”
- #8992
Young reporter writing anchor tag for fireworks story: “Please contact City Hall to find out where you can shoot off.”
- #8990
Reporter: “They just confirmed it… wait… they just re-tweeted her. That’s not confirmation. That’s just doubling down.”
- #8988
Editor to reporter: “Just background the shit out of it and we’ll make something out of it.”
- #8984
Reporter 1 reading arrest report: “I can’t wait to see what happens.” Reporter 2: “Spoiler alert: he gets arrested.”
- #8976
Newspaper reporter on phone: “Well, I can’t get the TV cameras to come, but I can write a story about it.”
- #8974
Reporter after repeatedly saying he can only hear half of what his interviewee is saying on the phone: “You know what always sucks about calling and interviewing activists? They’re also too poor to afford a phone that works.”
- #8972
Reporter to editor about covering a court case: “Is he the one with the drug problem or the jacking off problem?”
- #8970
Executive editor, on Chinese New Year coverage: “I’ve already heard more than I’m gonna read.”
- #8967
Reporter after covering court: “He was laughing with the judge… then he was sentenced to 10 years in prison. He stopped laughing.”
- #8966
Editor in Chief: “Ok, Merriam-Webster says it’s a word, so I’ll go with that.” Sports Editor: “They know their shit.”
- #8963
Reporter looking to move on a story about prostitution for the next news bulletin: “What can I do with a prostitute at 10 a.m.?”
- #8962
Reporter: “I think a murder charge would look better on a criminal record than sodomy with a horse.”
- #8960
Reporter who is unfamiliar with Quark, laying out a page: “How do I get the text to run around these ads? I mean, doesn’t it just want to stay away from them?”
