Dive into the archives.
- #9246
Copy Editor: “If I had feelings, they’d be hurt right now.”
- #9245
Sub-Editor to Graphic Designer, who’s been hunched over his iPhone for a good half an hour: “Are you playing Draw Something?”
- #9243
Web editor, after standing up to answer the phone: “Wow, I haven’t stood up in awhile. It must feel like taking a vitamin, or seeing the sun or something.”
- #9242
Photographer: “Just got an email wondering if I would photograph guests at an event in exchange for hanging out with a live baby cheetah.” Web reporter: “This is an obvious yes.”
- #9240
Copy Editor: “Is it weird o’clock already?”
- #9239
Copy editor on returning to a rural newspaper from a week-long vacation: “I totally missed hearing ‘cows’ on the scanner.”
- #9237
Editor: “Did you write this story about firefighters rescuing a cat in a tree.” Reporter: “Yes. I thought it was interesting.” Editor: “It’s not. I don’t want to see this again.”
- #9236
Editor: “They are wearing the same cologne. I think it’s ‘Khloe’ by the Kardashians.” Reporter: “Is that why they smell like sweat and Cheetos?”
- #9235
Associate Editor: “There is going to be a ribbon cutting. Aren’t you excited? That means they are going to get out the big scissors.”
- #9234
Producer 1 to producer 2 talking with reporter on a short package: “Don’t put a time on something that sucks.”
- #9231
Editor: “We had a reporter who would pitch stories, but never wanted to write them.” Reporter: “That sounds like an editor.”
- #9229
Reporter: “This place is so glum. It’s like the whole office is the obit desk. We’re writing about the death of the newspaper industry.”
- #9227
Editor trying to come up with headline dealing with a dog: “Did the dog give them ‘paws?’” Editor 2: “ … We need to stop talking about this … we’re losing brain cells as we speak.”
- #9226
“Is it ‘Brangelina is’ or ‘Brangelina are?’”
- #9225
Editor: “Our phones in the newsroom seem to have gone down.” IT support: “Can you get by for the night without them?” Editor: “Well, we are trying to put out a newspaper. So probably not.”
- #9224
Reporter: “Have you ever seen Ice Road Truckers? [Silence from the newsroom.] This is what happens when the remote in the gym is lost.”
- #9222
Photo Chief: “You would think in a newsroom we’d have something more interesting to talk about than cake in the break room.” Reporter: “Uh, have you ever been in a newsroom?”
- #9221
Reporter: “Newt Gingrich suspended his campaign.” Page Designer: “This is bullshit! How am I supposed to live on the moon now?!”
- #9220
Copy editor, reading a story about John Edwards: “Couldn’t we have put the words ‘crazy slut’ in the headline?”
- #9219
Editor: “We have 78 inches of obits in tomorrow’s paper. I don’t think we’re going to have any subscribers left.”
