Dive into the archives.
- #8475
“White powder all over the conference room table, and its from the damned donuts. Times in journalism certainly have changed.”
- #8471
Reporter: “The problem is, the wrong people are taking performance enhancing drugs. I want the grocery store checkout clerk to take ‘em.”
- #8455
“I can’t believe you just corrected my AP style, not the fact I want to do drugs.”
- #8447
Managing editor: “Since we don’t have any whiskey here, I’ll have some candy.”
- #8437
Weekend reporter: “Anyone know of something I can cover live on Sunday?” Assistant News Editor: “My hang over.”
- #8433
Photographer on furlough: “This is the drunkest week of my life, why stop now?”
- #8419
Sales rep on differences in clients: “Well it’s a lot cheaper to smoke weed than it is to get new boobs.”
- #8414
Editor: “You’ve seemed more chipper lately.” Reporter: “I’ve just been drunk most of the time.”
- #8406
Arts and Entertainment editor on a failed story: “It was just a bunch of people with mustaches drinking together at a bar.”
- #8445
Reporter after meeting another reporter at a party: “I knew he was in news before he told me. He smelled of whiskey and frustration.”
- #8427
Clueless reporter to source on the phone in an interview about tequila tasting: “So do you swallow or do you spit?”
- #8391
Reporter, talking about a profile that fell through: “She had been a crack addict and a hooker, so she’s not so sympathetic.” Editor: “Actually that can be condensed to crack whore.”
- #8384
Web editor: “I’m hitting the Crystal Light, not the crystal meth.”
- #8371
Reporter 1: “That story about the puppy was so sweet.” Reporter 2: “I know. If I wasn’t so heavily medicated I could just cry.”
- #8357
Editor to reporter: “You just broke the cardinal rule of journalism. You never bring a drug-sniffing dog into a newsroom.”
- #8355
Reporters discussing the bingo game they made out of news stories that happen frequently. Reporter 1: “Ding Ding Ding! Fatal ATV accident. Bingo, bitches!” Reporter 2: “Dammit! I was one Oxycontin arrest from a diagonal.”
- #8344
Editor: “Can we finish this thing? It’s the only thing standing between me and booze.”
- #8329
Editor: “If you can’t get over getting a drunk a few weeks ago, I don’t want to be friends with you.” Reporter: “Too late. You are.”
- #8326
Web editor: “I’ve been thinking about drinking since like 10 a.m.”
- #8316
“Is the coffee machine working?” “Define ‘working.’” “And define ‘coffee.’”
