Dive into the archives.
- #8875
Reporter: “No sir, the fact that I wrote a story about a craft beer store coming to town is NOT proof that I endorse drunk driving and hate Jesus. But thank you for reading the paper.”
- #8864
Page designer: “After all that Breaking Bad I just want to fill the wire page with drug cartel stories.”
- #8862
Reporter: “Is anyone allergic to any foods?” Ad rep: “I’m only allergic to not having enough beer.”
- #8839
Photo Editor: “You obviously didn’t go to a cool school.” Photographer: “I went to a Catholic school, we were too busy drinking.”
- #8796
Reporter 1, after newsroom receives candy from a local shop that has been in the newspaper numerous times over the last few months: “I personally accept responsibility for the candy since I’ve done all the writing about them.” Reporter 2: “Next time, why don’t you write about the marijuana growers?”
- #8747
Court reporter on sexual assault trial: “He’s a sex addict, she’s a drug addict.” Reporter 2: “New this summer on Fox.”
- #8744
Sports editor: “You know you’re talking to a news editor when she gives you directions to an event relative to the liquor store.”
- #8677
Desk Reporter: “I didn’t realize I was that hungover until I sat down for my 9 a.m. newscast, and I was like… wow.”
- #8676
Editor-in-chief at weekly staff meeting, discussing the ethics of drinking on the job: “If we read your column aloud to ourselves and we start slurring, we get a little suspicious.”
- #8651
“Glenfiddich whisky… one F two Ds.” “Like Gaddafi?” “Err Yeah.”
- #8632
Reporter 1: “You smell like whiskey and cigarettes.” Reporter 2: “That was my dinner last night.”
- #8629
Editor on deadline: “Alcohol has taken over my life in a very positive way.”
- #8628
A crime reporter changes focus: “I’m kind of glad to get away from pot for a while and move onto perverts.”
- #8596
Associate Producer: “[Photographer] just called. There is what he describes as a crackhead on scene with them. He says be prepared to pull out of the live shot if something crazy happens.” Producer: “If he can’t handle a crackhead or two at 5 in the morning, he doesn’t deserve to be an overnight photog.”
- #8594
Cops Reporter, looking over copy editor’s shoulder at photo: “What’s that?” Copy Editor: “Liquid nitrogen.” Cops Reporter: “Making meth?” Copy Editor: “Ice cream.”
- #8590
Copy chief: “You look less hungover today.” Editor: “Yeah, which is funny because I’m about the same hungover.”
- #8583
Wire editor: “I’m looking forward to occupying a bar stool.”
- #8544
“Everyday is a hangover day in a newsroom.”
- #8522
Deputy Editor to Editor on a particularly difficult day: “Can I get you a cup of tea? Or maybe some ecstasy?”
- #8517
Editor: “I’ll bring Spanish whiskey! It’s good. It’s imported.” Assistant photo editor: “I don’t drink it to taste it, you idiot.”
