Dive into the archives.
- #9314
Managing editor: “I screwed up. The intern doesn’t turn 21 until a couple days after the election. You have to make the liquor run on election night.” Reporter: “So why did we hire an intern?”
- #9309
Reporter: “I’m on E. I need to go to the creativity juice gas station.” Editor: “It’s called the liquor store.”
- #9308
Reporter: “It’s not Bourbon. It’s just coffee and water, I swear.”
- #9293
New reporter: “So what’s the deal with that park? It seems pretty nice.” Veteran copy editor: “Nah, you don’t want to walk around there. That’s where all the winos hang out.”
- #9256
Editor: “This ice wine counterfeit issue in China is actually a huge, huge problem.” Reporter: “Whatever, just give me some grape Kool-Aid and some Everclear.”
- #9248
Reporter 1, speaking about allergy medication: “This says take one every two hours.” Reporter 2: “Immediately I take two. That means good shit happens.”
- #9159
Reporter: “We should have more team lunches.” Managing Editor: “Martini lunches?!?”
- #9156
“After a week like this I’m glad I don’t have a drinking problem.”
- #9149
Producer on the phone with her Grandma: “No Grandma, I’m not drunk, I’m at work.”
- #9126
Web editor to reporter frantically searching for her water bottle: “It’s really vodka, isn’t it?”
- #9094
Reporter to another: “I need to grab the keg, is your door unlocked?”
- #9054
Reporter: “I want to cover all the sex, mating, and alcohol stories.” Producer: “Sounds like a good beat to me.”
- #9044
Editor, during budget meeting: “Where do you start? There are so many breweries, and we only have one liver.”
- #9011
Reporter as random person walks by: “So he stuck $85,000 of heroin pellets up his butt?” Random person glares. Reporter: “Sorry.”
- #8993
Editor reading the arrest report: “Apparently all anyone did between Christmas and New Year’s was toke up.”
- #8979
News editor: “If the Girl Scouts sold wine, I’d be a lot easier to bribe.”
- #8948
Anchor after a story on World Series of Beer Pong on the weather chat: “I didn’t know what beer pong is.” Meteorologist: “Did you go to college?”
- #8938
Producer: “When you got someone making meth in Walmart, then yeah, you’ve got an epidemic.”
- #8894
Retiring producer reminiscing about the ‘good ol’ days’ in the newsroom: “Remember when we could smoke like chimneys and drink like Kennedys?”
- #8877
Cops beat intern: “Can we say ‘meth’ on second reference?” Cops reporter: “If we couldn’t, I would have already shot myself.”
