Dive into the archives.
- #5851
Editor 1, after walking into chair: “I’m drunk.”
Editor 2: “Listen, we’re all drunk. You don’t see us falling over.”
- #5796
Reporter: “Summer’s almost over. The leaves are turning colour.”
Editor: “Time to switch to whiskey.”
- #5672
Reporter #1: “You’re an alcoholic, my friend.”
Reporter #2: “I’m not an alcoholic… I just like the taste of alcohol.”
- #5665
Editor 1: “Apathy is a wonderful thing.”
Editor 2: “Back in the day, we used to say alcohol is a wonderful thing.”
- #5660
“If you can’t work drunk you’re doing it wrong!”
- #5656
Talking about a structure fire just overheard on the police scanner:
Producer: “We’re not going to a pole barn on fire.”
News Director: “Unless it’s a meth lab.”
- #5630
Editor reviewing pictures from the first day of school at a local high school: “One girl looks drunk already.”
- #5622
Playing poker in foreign bureau: “I’ll see your two Xanax and raise you an Ambien.”
- #5604
On a source expressing surprise that a reporter smokes marijuana: “There’s no substance we can’t abuse.”
- #5518
Capitol reporter day before primary: “I feel like they wouldn’t fire me today no matter how drunk I was.”
- #5487
Reporter 1: “What is the difference between drug smuggling and drug trafficking?”
Reporter 2: “I don’t know, but our viewers won’t know the difference.”
- #5418
Ad reps discussing a party invite:
Ad rep 1: “I’ll have to pass. My wife doesn’t let me drink vodka.”
Ad rep 2: “Why not?”
Ad rep 3: “I never told you this? I threw Chinese food at her car, 26, 27 years ago. You always have to give up whatever it is you were drinking [...]
- #5387
Reporter on a former major league pitcher’s DUI arrest: “Was his BAL higher than his ERA?”
- #5367
Sports reporter: “I don’t like this getting up early crap.”
Managing editor: “Sorry we interrupted your hangover.”
- #5332
Designer to editor: “Hey, this headline says ‘Traffic stop leads to drug arrest.’ Can I put ‘Traffic stop = drug arrest’?”
- #5330
Copy editor 1: “I’m suing the Los Angeles County Bar Assn. for having a misleading name!”
Copy editor 2: “No liquor?”
Copy editor 1: “None at all!”
- #5290
Intern, referring to her age: “I can’t drink.”
Reporter: “Of course you can drink! You have a mouth!”
- #5267
Reporter 1 on why Reporter 2 wasn’t at the bar: “You should have thought twice before you got a husband and a baby.”
Reporter 2: “I know. I should have thought about Happy Hour.”
- #5266
On going home instead of to another party: “I am not going to be the guy who got the new intern drunk and left her in a strange part of town.”
- #5238
Producer 1: “I’ll trade you my 6 p.m. Library Swastika for your 5:30 p.m. Underage Stripper.”
Producer 2: “An intriguing offer… but I’ll pass.”
