The best quotes overheard in the newsroom
- #9236
Editor: “They are wearing the same cologne. I think it’s ‘Khloe’ by the Kardashians.”
Reporter: “Is that why they smell like sweat and Cheetos?”
- #9235
Associate Editor: “There is going to be a ribbon cutting. Aren’t you excited? That means they are going to get out the big scissors.”
- #9234
Producer 1 to producer 2 talking with reporter on a short package: “Don’t put a time on something that sucks.”
- #9233
Copy chief: “[Editor], you’ll have to rewrite this headline. I laughed. We can’t make our readers laugh: It’s against our style.”
- #9232
News editor: “If porn movies with the Octomom aren’t arts and entertainment, I don’t know what are.”
- #9231
Editor: “We had a reporter who would pitch stories, but never wanted to write them.”
Reporter: “That sounds like an editor.”
- #9230
News Editor: “If we auto-tuned this article, it would be a hit on YouTube.”
- #9229
Reporter: “This place is so glum. It’s like the whole office is the obit desk. We’re writing about the death of the newspaper industry.”
- #9228
Editor: “You can definitely quote those people.”
Reporter: “No… I didn’t identify myself as a reporter. I’ll have to call back.”
Reporter 2: “Yeah, just use a slightly different voice, that’ll work.”
- #9227
Editor trying to come up with headline dealing with a dog: “Did the dog give them ‘paws?’”
Editor 2: “ … We need to stop talking about this … we’re losing brain cells as we speak.”
- #9226
“Is it ‘Brangelina is’ or ‘Brangelina are?’”
- #9225
Editor: “Our phones in the newsroom seem to have gone down.”
IT support: “Can you get by for the night without them?”
Editor: “Well, we are trying to put out a newspaper. So probably not.”
- #9224
Reporter: “Have you ever seen Ice Road Truckers? [Silence from the newsroom.] This is what happens when the remote in the gym is lost.”
- #9223
Reporter on the phone: “I can’t imagine having a ferret with diarrhea.”
- #9222
Photo Chief: “You would think in a newsroom we’d have something more interesting to talk about than cake in the break room.”
Reporter: “Uh, have you ever been in a newsroom?”
- #9221
Reporter: “Newt Gingrich suspended his campaign.”
Page Designer: “This is bullshit! How am I supposed to live on the moon now?!”
- #9220
Copy editor, reading a story about John Edwards: “Couldn’t we have put the words ‘crazy slut’ in the headline?”
- #9219
Editor: “We have 78 inches of obits in tomorrow’s paper. I don’t think we’re going to have any subscribers left.”
- #9218
“Are the stripper, prostitute and girlfriend all the same person?”
- #9217
Editor: “Is today ‘Take your kid to work day’? I would have brought my cat.”
