The best quotes overheard in the newsroom
- #9282
Reporter on the phone: “I don’t know how to calculate at cat’s ‘real’ age.”
- #9281
Editor about the police scanner: “What did they say was in the road?”
Cop reporter: “A boy.”
Editor: “Oh. That’s my road. He’s a little shit.”
- #9280
Traffic reporter, to the morning anchor’s toddler: “I know you! I’ve seen you on Twitter.”
- #9279
City editor on the phone: “Wait, did you say hotmail.com? That’s why it isn’t working. I thought you said hogmail.com.”
- #9278
Editor: “I’m celebrating Mother’s Day. I don’t have children, but I have reporters.”
- #9277
Editor, after retrieving stack of papers from printer that a reporter printed: “Jaguars are shaving themselves in the jungle right now to deal with the global warming you’ve caused.”
- #9276
Reporter to source on phone: “No, you don’t need to give me an address. I’m a reporter, I know where everyone is at all times.”
- #9275
Online news writer: “I pressed some weird shortcut and now my keyboard is typing Arabic.”
- #9274
Reporter covering abortion protests: “So, lunch then bloody fetuses or bloody fetuses and then lunch?”
- #9273
Copy Editor doing a photo cutout: “Oops. I just cut that man’s foot off. This is why I’m not a doctor.”
- #9272
Assistant News Director: “If you have America’s Next Top Model on before your show you should lead with the gay marriage story.”
- #9271
Cops reporter: “I actually ate lunch today and now I feel all bloated.”
- #9270
Copy editor: “It’s not the font’s fault.”
- #9269
Editor to reporter about a dead source: “I hope those stupid people didn’t procreate before they died.”
- #9268
Reporter 1 on how many stories he wrote in one day: “You’re just popping them out today!”
Reporter 2: “Yeah, I’m like the Octomom except instead of kids, I have stories.”
- #9267
Senior reporter to young female reporter: “I wonder if I can find a way to use my newfound Twitter superpowers to help get you a nice husband.”
- #9266
Newspaper managing editor, watching the local news: “I hate how self-satisfied TV anchors are.”
- #9265
Reporter: “That guy’s so stupid you wonder how he brushes his teeth in the morning without sticking the toothbrush up his ass first.”
- #9264
Copy editor summing up AP stories: “… and Maurice Sendak went to where the dead things are.”
- #9263
Managing Editor: “Man, we cleaned up on obits today. Got about $500 worth of death right here.”
