The best quotes overheard in the newsroom
- #8998
Producer 1, after explaining cat’s vet visit: “So look at it this way: No matter how bad things get around here, at least solids aren’t coming out your peehole.”
Producer 2: “You’re right. Can we change our tagline from ‘Your Local News Source’ to that?”
- #8997
Executive Editor: “We used to have a senior living columnist, but I think he died.”
Staff Reporter: “Aww…”
Executive Editor: “He might still be alive.”
- #8996
Crime reporter in rural Louisiana: “People around here don’t dump bodies in good places. They’re too easy to find.”
- #8995
Assignment Editor: “That tipster is such a perv.”
Anchor: “But he gives us so many news ideas.”
Assignment Editor: “Well, he is still a perv.”
Anchor: “I think when you’re near 80 years old you deserve to be a perv.”
- #8994
Editor: “If I wanted my reporters to have feelings, I would assign it.”
- #8993
Editor reading the arrest report: “Apparently all anyone did between Christmas and New Year’s was toke up.”
- #8992
Young reporter writing anchor tag for fireworks story: “Please contact City Hall to find out where you can shoot off.”
- #8991
Reporter: “Good news for journalists: Minimum wage goes up Sunday.”
- #8990
Reporter: “They just confirmed it… wait… they just re-tweeted her. That’s not confirmation. That’s just doubling down.”
- #8989
Reporter to editor: “Then he told me that his dad told him to be himself and he’s just doing whatever he can to be himself. That’s what the guy in the Statue of Liberty costume told me.”
- #8988
Editor to reporter: “Just background the shit out of it and we’ll make something out of it.”
- #8987
Producer: “Hey buddy, you’re a pretty big star in your own world.”
Anchor: “That’s a pretty shitty world.”
- #8986
Female reporter: “If Nancy Grace can do a cartwheel, so can I.”
Photographer: “That’s a dangerous precedent.”
- #8985
Female reporter, looking at the afternoon snow forecast: “I don’t need a foot. 1 to 2 inches is plenty.”
Male reporter: “We’re still talking about snow, right?”
- #8984
Reporter 1 reading arrest report: “I can’t wait to see what happens.”
Reporter 2: “Spoiler alert: he gets arrested.”
- #8983
Co-worker 1: “I think I’ll just change my name to Page View.”
Co-worker 2: “You’d be better off with Click Me.”
- #8982
Senior producer on being told the temperature with windchill is -46 degrees: “Hell is not supposed to be this cold.”
- #8981
Editor: “She is useless. She is screen-door-in-a-spaceship useless.”
- #8980
Caller referring to ongoing standoff: “You need to get your innocent reporter out of there and let those people kill each other.”
- #8979
News editor: “If the Girl Scouts sold wine, I’d be a lot easier to bribe.”
