Dive into the archives.
- #9021
Veteran features writer on his 21-year-old son: “Still, he doesn’t pee in the washing machine anymore so that’s an improvement.”
- #9020
Reporter: “Is he dead?” Desk: “I don’t know, but if he is it will give us a ‘Funeral Fund Story’ tomorrow.”
- #9019
Male sports writer to female sports writer: “You know you’ve got it made when the high schoolers start hitting on you.”
- #9018
Entertainment writer, after hearing a celebrity’s tale of woe: “I’d like to be treated for exhaustion.”
- #9017
Reporter: “This crazy lady who says she’s missing is in the lobby for an interview.” Executive Producer: “Is she crazy?” Producer: “Is she naked?”
- #9016
Digital news editor: “I have another mindless job for you, if you’re up for it.”
- #9015
Reporter 1: “Wow, this computer is being slow.” Reporter 2: “On the list of things that don’t require a ‘wow’: Our computers being slow.”
- #9014
Photographer to newspaper reporter: “Your story sounded good on the radio this morning.”
- #9013
Reporter: “I hate talking to that guy, he has diarrhea of the mouth.” Editor: “And it’s your job as a reporter to pick the nuts out of that crap and make something that everyone will eat up.”
- #9012
Reporter who went to a concert the night before: “I was looking around and it was like, hipster, hipster, hipster, guy who looks like our managing editor — holy shit that IS our managing editor.”
- #9011
Reporter as random person walks by: “So he stuck $85,000 of heroin pellets up his butt?” Random person glares. Reporter: “Sorry.”
- #9010
Reporter 1: “Press pass around the neck, or in the wallet?” Reporter 2: “Around the neck, that way, when you cover protests, the crazies come to you.”
- #9009
Page designer: “I got the meatballs as far away from the hemorrhoids as possible.”
- #9008
Editor: “Some guy just came by to ask what journalism was like. I felt bad because it took me a few minutes to realize he wasn’t crazy.”
- #9007
Producer, on competition’s reporter: “You know it’s cold out there when she breaks out her beret.”
- #9006
Sports photographer talking about shooting a wrestling match: “Honestly, every picture had a penis in it!”
- #9005
Copy editor: “Don’t you ever stop being emo?” Reporter: “Well, I am on Tumblr.”
- #9004
Reporter: “Don’t I get to do anything interesting in my life without having to write about it?” News Editor: “What? No, you’re a reporter now.”
- #9003
Co-worker trying to explain a computer problem to IT: “My computer is making airplane-style noises.”
- #9002
Copy chief: “It’s always nice to see a Walmart ad. If they’re going to destroy America, we at least ought to get some money out of it.”
