Dive into the archives.
- #9028
Community News Editor on finishing a story about people who hate the Super Bowl: “Just sit back and wait for the hate.”
- #9027
Chief Copy Editor: “Sports can be very suggestive. There are a lot of balls involved.”
- #9026
Executive Editor working on Births page: “I’m sorry, but some of these newborns are just downright ugly!”
- #9025
Reporter: “So I was sick at home yesterday, so I called this source on my cell phone — big mistake. She left a message for me this morning about how she was watching a murder mystery last night on television — topless — yeah, topless because she was having a hot flash.”
- #9024
High school sports reporter: “The kid burped in my recorder. I should spell his name wrong.”
- #9023
Editor to political reporter: “You know what would really make headlines? A Sharron Angle, Ron Paul sex tape.”
- #9022
Reporter: “When I said I wrote about it like a week ago, what I meant was I wrote about it in mid-November.”
- #9021
Veteran features writer on his 21-year-old son: “Still, he doesn’t pee in the washing machine anymore so that’s an improvement.”
- #9020
Reporter: “Is he dead?” Desk: “I don’t know, but if he is it will give us a ‘Funeral Fund Story’ tomorrow.”
- #9019
Male sports writer to female sports writer: “You know you’ve got it made when the high schoolers start hitting on you.”
- #9018
Entertainment writer, after hearing a celebrity’s tale of woe: “I’d like to be treated for exhaustion.”
- #9017
Reporter: “This crazy lady who says she’s missing is in the lobby for an interview.” Executive Producer: “Is she crazy?” Producer: “Is she naked?”
- #9016
Digital news editor: “I have another mindless job for you, if you’re up for it.”
- #9015
Reporter 1: “Wow, this computer is being slow.” Reporter 2: “On the list of things that don’t require a ‘wow’: Our computers being slow.”
- #9014
Photographer to newspaper reporter: “Your story sounded good on the radio this morning.”
- #9013
Reporter: “I hate talking to that guy, he has diarrhea of the mouth.” Editor: “And it’s your job as a reporter to pick the nuts out of that crap and make something that everyone will eat up.”
- #9012
Reporter who went to a concert the night before: “I was looking around and it was like, hipster, hipster, hipster, guy who looks like our managing editor — holy shit that IS our managing editor.”
- #9011
Reporter as random person walks by: “So he stuck $85,000 of heroin pellets up his butt?” Random person glares. Reporter: “Sorry.”
- #9010
Reporter 1: “Press pass around the neck, or in the wallet?” Reporter 2: “Around the neck, that way, when you cover protests, the crazies come to you.”
- #9009
Page designer: “I got the meatballs as far away from the hemorrhoids as possible.”
