Dive into the archives.
- #9007
Producer, on competition’s reporter: “You know it’s cold out there when she breaks out her beret.”
- #9006
Sports photographer talking about shooting a wrestling match: “Honestly, every picture had a penis in it!”
- #9005
Copy editor: “Don’t you ever stop being emo?” Reporter: “Well, I am on Tumblr.”
- #9004
Reporter: “Don’t I get to do anything interesting in my life without having to write about it?” News Editor: “What? No, you’re a reporter now.”
- #9003
Co-worker trying to explain a computer problem to IT: “My computer is making airplane-style noises.”
- #9002
Copy chief: “It’s always nice to see a Walmart ad. If they’re going to destroy America, we at least ought to get some money out of it.”
- #9001
Copy Editor 1: “I hope if you win the lottery you buy me a Lexus. I would buy you a Lexus.” Copy Editor 2: “The problem with the lottery is the tickets are $2 now and I couldn’t afford to play when they were still $1.”
- #9000
Angry news editor ordering reporter to a job: “Get there as quick as you can and phone me when you are outside.” Five minutes later shouting down the phone to the hack: “Phone me when you get outside the house not the bloody office!”
- #8999
“Does anyone else feel like they’re on an Italian cruise?”
- #8998
Producer 1, after explaining cat’s vet visit: “So look at it this way: No matter how bad things get around here, at least solids aren’t coming out your peehole.” Producer 2: “You’re right. Can we change our tagline from ‘Your Local News Source’ to that?”
- #8997
Executive Editor: “We used to have a senior living columnist, but I think he died.” Staff Reporter: “Aww…” Executive Editor: “He might still be alive.”
- #8996
Crime reporter in rural Louisiana: “People around here don’t dump bodies in good places. They’re too easy to find.”
- #8995
Assignment Editor: “That tipster is such a perv.” Anchor: “But he gives us so many news ideas.” Assignment Editor: “Well, he is still a perv.” Anchor: “I think when you’re near 80 years old you deserve to be a perv.”
- #8994
Editor: “If I wanted my reporters to have feelings, I would assign it.”
- #8993
Editor reading the arrest report: “Apparently all anyone did between Christmas and New Year’s was toke up.”
- #8992
Young reporter writing anchor tag for fireworks story: “Please contact City Hall to find out where you can shoot off.”
- #8991
Reporter: “Good news for journalists: Minimum wage goes up Sunday.”
- #8990
Reporter: “They just confirmed it… wait… they just re-tweeted her. That’s not confirmation. That’s just doubling down.”
- #8989
Reporter to editor: “Then he told me that his dad told him to be himself and he’s just doing whatever he can to be himself. That’s what the guy in the Statue of Liberty costume told me.”
- #8988
Editor to reporter: “Just background the shit out of it and we’ll make something out of it.”
