Dive into the archives.
- #5057
Photographer to editor who asked him to take a photo of a snake outside the newsroom door: “Are you really serious, or are you trying to piss me off?”
- #5056
Sports guy: “It makes me feel powerful to know that people are reading the words I wrote. I’m like a king.”
- #5055
Reporter: “It wouldn’t be a story for me if it wasn’t 20 phone calls for 20 inches.”
- #5054
Reporter to source: “I’ll tell you what, after three hours in a room with doctors, a stripper is a nice change of pace.”
- #5053
“Wow, you are editing my story and you have the hiccups. Usually you just start to yawn by the 2nd paragraph.”
- #5052
Copy editor, reading op/ed piece by non-journalist: “This thing reads like he masturbated with a thesaurus.”
- #5051
Reporter talking about his broadcast package on firework safety, showing how a sparkler would burn a doll and the force an over the counter firework has when placed inside a watermelon:
“I was really disappointed we couldn’t melt the baby. And we lost the watermelon!”
- #5050
Office Manager: “Wow, a lot of people are out today.”
Reporter: “Yeah, I came in and thought that we’d had another round of layoffs.”
- #5049
Editor 1 has brought a vuvuzela into the office and is blowing it incessantly:
Editor 1: “Hey look, we’ve drawn an audience!”
Editor 2: “Yeah, more like a lynch mob.”
- #5048
One reporter to fellow reporter: “We should receive Best Actor Awards — people really have no idea how much we DON’T give a shit.”
- #5047
EIC to reporter: “Give me your story. I’m going to go burn it because there is absolutely no way we’re running this crap.”
- #5046
Copy editor: “If at first you don’t succeed, you’re fired.”
- #5045
Reporter to intern: “Take everything in moderation, except, like, crack and cocaine.”
- #5044
“If someone walks through the door with anything besides food, just start launching stuff at them.”
- #5043
An intern, in a meeting with editors, says she is surprised how “perky” the newsroom is compared to others she has been in.
Editor: “We need to have a whole other meeting. I will not have us be perky.”
- #5042
Coming out of a bull-riding story, Sports Anchor to female Anchor: “I don’t know about everyone else, but I know I’d be amused watching you ride the mechanical bull.”
- #5041
News Director: “Save that. That’s the kind of award winning crap we should submit.”
- #5040
Reporter to reporter: “Usually you grow out of the making out with the mirror phase at thirteen or fourteen!”
- #5039
Assignment Editor to Weekend Reporter: “You were in the room for an hour with a dying kid and you couldn’t get anyone to cry!”
- #5038
Online news editor asks the online team of journos: “Guys, do you spell it Kim Jong-Il or Kim Jong-Two?”
