Dive into the archives.
- #4602
Bunch of new recruits getting shown around the office. Guide: “And if there’s a fire, you’ll hear two short beeps.” Newbie: “If we’re on fire, what will the hashtag be?”
- #4601
Sales Associate: “If only we replace news content with commercial content, then our problems would be solved.”
- #4600
Reporter trying to convince another reporter to bring in brownies, despite having to cover something the next morning: “Well, it’s not meat, so would it sitting in the heat matter? I mean, unless you have meat in your brownies. I don’t think I’d eat Ham-brownies.”
- #4599
Texas Roadhouse gave the newsroom a big box of peanuts. Producer after opening several: “These nuts are old and shriveled.”
- #4598
Copy editor #1: “Did you hear Gary Coleman died?” Copy editor #2: “Really? What was it a stroke?” Copy editor #1: “No, something different.”
- #4597
Reporter to assignment editor: “You’re not dead to me, but you’re close.”
- #4596
Production crew members saying what they’ll miss about each other when one is switched to a different shift: “I feel like I can be stupid with you and not be judged.”
- #4595
Reporter who was told by editor to seek more fluffy features on the beat: “There is no fluff in this hellhole.”
- #4594
Senior reporter, first day working on new big-screen computers: “I’ve lost my mouse.” Junior reporter: “It’s in your hand.” Senior reporter: “No, the little arrow. I’ve lost it. It’s somewhere on the screen and I can’t find it.”
- #4593
Ad manager: “You’re providing the butter we put on our bread. Get it? It’s like the newspaper’s toast.”
- #4592
Reporter: “I want to be an alcoholic but I can’t afford it.”
- #4591
“Hey, this C section looks good.”
- #4590
Producer: “Is Gary Coleman worth a mention at 10?” Reporter: “Maybe a short mention.” Producer: “No pun intended.”
- #4589
Producer: “I didn’t know that Gary Coleman DIED. Can’t wait to check twitter!”
- #4588
Designer #1: “This front page looks like a dog’s butt.” Designer #2: “Puckered up and pink?” Designer #1: “Like a chewed up piece of bubble gum.”
- #4587
Breaking news editor to reporter: “I’m not a fan of bomb threats. They never blow up.”
- #4586
Reporter: “The new custard stand in town has the acronym ‘KKK’.” Photographer: “Do you think they only sell vanilla ice cream?”
- #4585
Reporter: “What’s the code for furlough day on our time sheets?” Editor: “I believe its FU.”
- #4584
Angry intern to no one in particular: “I’m about to turn into the Incredible Fucking Hulk. Argh!”
- #4583
“I wish my computer had a face so I could slap it.”
