Dive into the archives.
- #3766
Reporter: “The only way to get in the mood to write a story about a shooting is to listen to some 50 Cent.”
- #3765
Editor talking to new reporter: “Sorry your desk is old and crappy, but we are here for news, not office furniture.”
- #3764
Breaking news reporter #1: “I’m up to my ass in stories today.” Breaking news reporter #2: “Your ass doesn’t look that high to me.”
- #3763
Editor: “According to [ad rep], the porn shop is a head shop.” Sports Editor: “What?” Editor: “As in marijuana. Well, the back room is probably a ‘head shop’ too but the front is also a head shop.”
- #3762
Reporter: “I need an online news lede generator.”
- #3761
Reporter: “Don’t talk about me behind my back.” Assignment Editor: “I didn’t talk about you behind your back. I talked about you at the assignment desk.”
- #3760
Editor to writer: “Make the story as long as it has to be.” Writer: “You’ll regret those words.”
- #3759
Scanner traffic: “15 year old male runaway, wearing white tank and red shorts.” Producer: “Uh oh! Sounds like someone couldn’t cope with Ricky Martin coming out of the closet.”
- #3758
Rookie reporter to veteran reporter: “I was so going to tell you that you have the people skills of a cactus, but I can so totally understand how you got that way. Everyone I talked to today I wanted to strangle.”
- #3757
Editor to reporter after reading the headline & story: “That’s not an article, that’s a tweet.”
- #3756
Photo editor: “I would think [editor]’s smile lights up the room, but I know it’s just the glow of everyone else’s hopes and dreams being incinerated.”
- #3755
Copy chief: “Justin Bieber has better bangs than I do!”
- #3754
Editor to reporter: “Your story in today’s paper was really good. It was so good I heard it word for word on the radio as I was driving in.”
- #3753
Editor-in-Chief to Graphic Designer in a college newsroom: “I need you to superimpose the president’s face on a Chick-fil-A sandwich.”
- #3752
Photo editor: “If we could get computers that didn’t freeze up, lock up, drop shit…” Associate editor: “…Then it wouldn’t be a newsroom.”
- #3751
While talking about the Hutaree militia plot: News Editor: “I’m going to start my own group called the Lone Wolves.” Copy Editor: “You can all wear that three-wolf moon shirt.”
- #3750
Director: “I tried to like the new intern.” Producer: “That’s right. Because you’re such a likeable person.” Director: “Let’s not go that far…”
- #3749
Producer writing a tease: “Bike path, or deathtrap? How will it affect your weekend? Tonight at 10.”
- #3748
Editor to writer: “I’m going to make you regret your scientific background.”
- #3747
Experienced, cynical reporter: “Aw, did I hurt your feelings?” Seasoned, even more cynical sports reporter: “Feelings? I don’t have feelings because of this place.”
