Dive into the archives.
- #3312
On the scanner: “In his late 60s. Or he could be 50 and he’s just done too much meth.”
- #3311
Producer: “The jail won’t give out mugshots because of identity theft issues.” Reporter: “Because I’m sure criminals have great credit.”
- #3310
Reporter to Editor who wants to play up speculative angle of story: “But that makes me feel like a whore.” Editor: “Get used to it.”
- #3309
Editor to Photographer with toddler after cussing within earshot: “I’m sorry, you’re in a cursing zone.”
- #3308
Government bureaucrat: “Why don’t you report any REAL news? There are lots of scandals in the government that I know about.” Reporter: “OK, I’ll do it. What are they?” Bureaucrat: “I can’t tell you. I’d get fired.”
- #3307
Editor #1: “We have another snowblower accident, this time the guy got it in the leg.” Editor #2: “That’s three! Trend story!”
- #3306
Producer, forced to add yet another map to his show: “I’ve made more maps tonight than Rand McFuckingNally!”
- #3305
“I love the sound of F-bombs in the morning.”
- #3304
Public official after a meeting: “Yeah, I wasn’t sure if it would get in the paper, then I looked up and you were just sitting there.” Reporter: “Yeah, I’m a regular news ninja.”
- #3303
“Deadlines are the laxative of journalism.”
- #3302
Editor to Reporter on Friday morning: “Don’t call me an old man. For all you know, I started drinking at 5 p.m. yesterday and am drunk now.”
- #3301
“I’ve spent the last 20 minutes trying to come with a good fantasy baseball team name. It’s that kind of work day.”
- #3300
Editor on juicy news story before it was filed: “Are you kidding? All good headlines are written before the story.”
- #3299
“Even a blind man hits the urinal once in a while.”
- #3298
Reporter at a staff birthday gathering: “At my last job we only got cake when someone got shot.”
- #3297
Reporter under her breath as a group of bright-eyed Boy Scouts toured the newsroom: “Look kids! An endangered species!”
- #3296
Editor to Entertainment Reporter leaving for an assignment: “No, you can not throw yourself at Gwyneth Paltrow. They cut our budget for bail money this month.”
- #3295
“This story proves you should never enslave an animal species that can kill you back.”
- #3294
Reporter #1: “Does it seem like the hardest part of writing is just starting?” Reporter #2: “Always. And then you get diarrhea of the fingers.”
- #3293
Producer: “It says here the kidnapper ‘can survive on very little money. In fact, his needs seem to be met with only cigarettes, liquor, and very little food.’ It’s like our reporters.”
