Dive into the archives.
- #3332
Editor: “I’ve read this 10-inch story 70 times and I think I finally get it.”
Reporter: “We should just run it and tell the readers, ‘If you can understand it you get a free subscription.’”
- #3331
City Editor: “How many times do I have to correct the same fucking AP style mistakes from the same damn reporter?”
Managing Editor: “Watch out bitches! This girl’s pimp hand is strong tonight.”
- #3330
“‘Not our style?’ It’s for the BLOG. Blogs don’t have style.”
- #3329
Editor watching a post-game interview: “Ryan Miller looks like the most miserable guy to ever win an Olympic medal.”
- #3328
After interviewing a potential candidate for a job in the news. Final question: “Are you sure you want to apply for this job?”
- #3327
Leaving for the night after a particularly tough edition: “When I finally get out of this business, I think I’m going to miss the bitterness most.”
- #3326
From Editor to Designer: “Sometimes people are just stupid.”
- #3325
Editor to a Reporter working on a story about a murder victim on his day off: “Why are you here?”
Reporter: “Because unlike that kid, this story just won’t die.”
- #3324
Reporter #1 walks in casually carrying a hockey stick. He makes a call. While on hold, he stands up and begins wrapping the stick with tape.
Reporter #2: “Um… are you going to hit someone?”
- #3323
Reporter finding Home Writer’s odd press kit surprise in the free bin: “How can anybody pass up a free dead cockroach?”
- #3322
News Editor watching CNN: “All I see is a bunch of blue water not doing jackshit. Worst tsunami ever.”
- #3321
After CNN says Hawaii’s tsunami warning was lifted:
Photographer: “That was a disappointment! But something else will come along, cause we have short attention spans; and we want our news deep-fried and covered in cheese.”
- #3320
Female Reporter: “Can I ask you guys a question about wedgies?”
- #3319
Receptionist to Reporter coming in the door: “Somebody called and wants to ‘chat’ with you about a quote you put in.”
Reporter: “He can have a chat with my fist.”
- #3318
Copy Editor: “All the story does is talk about how great she is and how great her family is … it’s a verbal blow job!”
- #3317
Editor: “Haven’t you been in this break room for over an hour?”
Reporter: “If you’re going to assign me shallow stories at least let me float around for a while.”
- #3316
Editor: “Whatever you are eating smells good. It’s making me hungry.”
Reporter: “It’s me. You sent me to a fish fry.”
- #3315
Reporter tossing out chocolate candy to the newsroom: “See? If they did this at Sea World, no one would get eaten.”
- #3314
Editor, upon hearing that Yale students will be able to post 500- to 1,000-word essays about their sexual escapades on a special website: “I could do it in a tweet.”
- #3313
Copy Editor to remote copy desk location on cutting long stories: “Just tell them up there that even the Bible can be a brief.”
