Dive into the archives.
- #2865
“How long will you be ‘no commenting’ for? Will that expire soon?”
- #2864
Page Designer after a late ad revision comes in: “I think Advertising’s only reason for living is to screw me over as often as possible.” Reporter: “It’s their new mission statement. They put it in a frame and hung it on their wall.”
- #2863
Producer: “I feel like I’m the newsroom’s bitch.” Director: “You’re not. Can you get me some water?”
- #2862
Reporters discussing smaller paper: Reporter #1: “Pretty soon we’ll just be a flyer they can hang over urinals.” Reporter #2: “We could just print on the urinal cakes.” Reporter #3: “All the news that’s fit to piss on.”
- #2861
Rookie Reporter: “So this is rock bottom. The view’s crap but the jokes are superb.”
- #2860
Editor addressing college journalism class: “I would rather have one good reporter who can’t write than five good writers who can’t report.”
- #2859
Reporter trying to talk an Editor out of pursuing a story: “Isn’t there something to be said about ‘First, do no harm?’” Editor: “That’s for doctors, not reporters. Our oath is, ‘Go get ’em.’”
- #2858
Financial Reporter, writing about a disgraced hedge fund manager: “The redemption is that he is probably a billionaire and I barely have enough money to afford a metro card.”
- #2857
Editor, talking to visiting Cub Scouts: “Have you ever thought about starting your own newspaper?” Reporter, under her breath: “Have you ever thought of starting a blacksmith’s shop? Some people might say that industry is in decline, but there will always be people with horses.”
- #2856
Producer: “If there was an Emmy award for best train-wreck newscast, we would win it.” Reporter: “We’d also be competing against ourselves.”
- #2855
Reporter showing someone around and entering the newsroom: “This is the nerve center. This is where we fill up all the space we can’t sell ads for.”
- #2854
Editor to Reporters: “Nobody can write a story longer than they are tall without my express permission.”
- #2853
After Paginator called into weekly editorial meeting returned in less than five minutes. Reporter: “Smaller paper, shorter meeting?”
- #2852
Designer #1: “It takes a village, man.” Designer #2: “So, it takes a newsroom to raise a bad story.”
- #2851
Editor, prepping for Managing Editor’s treat of pizza for the newsroom: “I can’t find any paper plates but we do have a large can of sauerkraut and two dumbbells.”
- #2850
Cops Reporter to Editor: “Are you interested in an 18-year-old having sex with a 14-year-old?” Editor: “Only if there are pictures.” Editor proceeds to hold his hands up to signal a touchdown.
- #2849
Editor, on a phone call complaining about a feature story in the religion page: “Ma’am, are you a Christian?” Pauses for answer, before continuing: “Then forgive me.” Hangs up the phone.
- #2848
“I’ve realized that my job is basically just decorating litter.”
- #2847
A Reporter tries to get a Photographer to go to a political event with him as an Editor listens in: Photographer: “I’m shooting basketball that night.” Reporter: “Basketball won’t be the Governor next year.” Editor: “And more people will still care about basketball.” Reporter: “And THAT is why I hate people.”
- #2846
Reporter whose quote didn’t make it onto Overheard in the Newsroom: “Well I feel like a failure at life.”
