Dive into the archives.
- #2905
Anchor to Producer on last day: “Nope, you’re dead to me now. Can’t buy you a drink after work because dead people don’t drink.”
- #2904
“There are disadvantages to working for your wife at a small town newspaper, but she just edited them all out.”
- #2903
Editor to drunken Reporter: “You spoil your chances of becoming an Editor one day when you drown yourself in booze.” Reporter: “I would not care a thing because when I am drunk, I feel like I am the CEO.”
- #2902
TV Anchor suggests lower-third headline for story of sex offender dead in house fire: “Torched Turd.”
- #2901
Night Editor trying to path out a picture of Taylor Swift: “I’m having trouble with my thing between Taylor Swift’s legs.”
- #2900
Editor to a Reporter: “Never start a story with a quote, unless that quote is ‘I’m back,’ said Jesus … that’s the only time I’ll let you get away with it.”
- #2899
Editor to Reporter (mid sentence): “It could be a good lead. I mean the whole process of leasing and returning them can be very political with both governments.” DA: “What are you guys talking about?” Editor: “Panda bears.” DA: “And remind me when is that next round of layoffs coming?”
- #2898
Managing Editor looking through stylebook: “I’m looking for intercourse.”
- #2897
Sub Editor #1: “Is there a proofreading symbol for: ‘This paragraph doesn’t make any sense?’” Sub Editor #2: “Um … WTF?”
- #2896
Managing Editor: “It’s Tuesday. Do you know what that means?” News Editor: “Time to fuck journalistic integrity?”
- #2895
Sports Editor after reading a text he received on deadline: “Damnit, my wife is drunk. How am I supposed to get dinner?”
- #2894
Suburban Editor: “The thing about writing an obit is that you want to get all the facts right.” Intern turns to another Intern: “Unlike our other stories where we just don’t care enough.”
- #2893
Reporter reading a resident’s letter to city hall concerning dog poop: “He makes it sound like they are crapping napalm in their yards.”
- #2892
Source, on the literacy of his fellow readers: “Hey now, I’m a redneck too, but some of us are just dumber than shit.”
- #2891
A woman pitches a feature story about her father: Reporter: “Where does your father live?” Woman: “Well, Heaven now.” Reporter: “That’s outside of our coverage area.”
- #2890
Reporter to Editor: “Lemme know what I can do to help… except I don’t wanna write it.”
- #2889
After taking several calls for winter weather closings, Assignment Editor says: “I need to take my blood pressure medicine before I have a heart attack.”
- #2888
Reporter: “I get that journalism is basically a lot of mutual masturbation, but nannying readers is about as effective as using a ripe banana as a dildo.”
- #2887
Guy sitting next to me having a pretty engaging conversation with a reader. The back and forth ended with: “Thanks for the threat and have a nice day.”
- #2886
City Editor: “You can remote desktop from your iPhone?” IT: “Dude, I’ve fixed problems in the paper at a red light.”
