Dive into the archives.
- 2036
Photographer updating his Facebook status: “I wish instead of putting the station logo on the side of the live trucks they would have put, ‘No, moron, you can’t be on TV.’ ”
- 2035
Female reporter: “I wonder how many times I’ve been in parking lots without pants …”
- 2034
Editor to reporter: “Don’t read that too closely, or you’ll go blind — and you don’t have coverage for that.”
- 2033
Editor: “I just got an e-mail from myself with the subject line ‘Tragedy in our office.’ ” Reporter: “What was it about?” Editor: “I didn’t open it. I was afraid it would say I had died.”
- 2032
“You’ll feel jet-lagged for two weeks, then the dementia sets in and you’re good.” Engineer to new producer, on acclimating to working the early morning news.
- 2031
Editor: “What a rite of passage for a young man.” Reporter: “Sex with a daytime hooker?” Editor: “Whatever, man.”
- 2030
“What’s AP style for ‘blow job?’”
- 2029
Web manager to reporter: “Don’t start using logic. It just pisses people off.”
- 2028
Editor: “Hey, newly graduated reporter, how do I make a heart sign on Facebook?”
- 2027
“If there is one more meaningless ‘urgent’ that comes over, I am going to march on down to Reuters and break every one of that editor’s fingers.” Anchor to desk assistant on wire alerts.
- 2026
Associate editor: “If you want to make a difference, go somewhere else. This is a newspaper.”
- 2025
Reporter: “There’s something wrong when I see ‘Newspaper reporter killed’ in a headline and my first thought is ‘Sweet. Job opening.’ ”
- 2024
Copy Chief: “This is ridiculous. Why did I go to j-school? I should have become a plumber.” Copy Editor: “Better money?” Copy Chief: “No, you deal with less shit.”
- 2023
Editor at a staff meeting: “So before we go, I’d like to take a few minutes and explain why I’m an asshole.”
- 2022
Producer to Executive Producer: “If they’re gonna start firing people for sexual harassment, we’re all gone!”
- 2021
“If the advertising department didn’t decorate, I’d never know what season it was.”
- 2020
Managing Editor: “Down 1% (in circulation) is the new up 5%.”
- 2019
Copy editor discussing swine-flu precautions: “I’ve never been healthier since I began drinking screwdrivers.”
- 2018
News Director to Producer: “I’d like you to be the champion of our crime stats online. Make sure they are correct.” Producer: “Do I get handcuffs?”
- 2017
Proofreader: “I should get paid to read this paper at home.” Copy Editor: “That’s the only way you’d get me to read this paper at home.”
