Dive into the archives.
- 1166
Reporter, after hearing a shots fired call on the scanner: “I need this like I need colon cancer.”
- 1165
Reporter 1: “Can we do me so I can finish?” Everyone: “No.” Reporter 1: “Damn, I’m striking out all over the place today.”
- 1164
Reporter: “I just found a sack of porn in the street.”
- 1163
“Did you ever have a day, or a year, when you just didn’t feel like being here?”
- 1162
“If you can limit my comments to saying only really positive things, I would appreciate it.” Post-interview e-mail from source to reporter
- 1161
Copy editor to slot: “Well, I know I don’t need any bug spray around here with all this nitpicking!”
- 1160
Female Reporter: “Don’t mess with him. Yes, my computer is a him. I name all inanimate objects I make sweet love to regularly.” Male reporter: “That’s why the keys are sticky.”
- 1159
Reporter about ever-complaining business editor: “Will someone please put a towel over his cage?”
- 1158
Staff member: “You didn’t go to my Spectrum event! I got the gays all excited!” Gay editor: “Oh, but that’s easy.”
- 1157
“He takes his wiener dogs to the dogsitter every day. They get on a wiener bus, and they sit in wiener seats.”
- 1156
Assistant to a coworker who’s feeling ill: “Are you reserving your puke for someone you don’t like? I appreciate that you’re not going to puke on me.”
- 1155
“Storytellers always have these big baskets, which are supposed to look folkloric. They’ve got props inside — toys, animals, puppets and tear gas, I suspect.”
- 1154
“This is the worst that has ever happened to me.” A reader comment on a web redesign
- 1153
Reporter finishing a quiz on facebook… “I came out as Comic Sans and I refuse to accept that.”
- 1152
“Oh, fuck. … Is there any way to stop an e-mail?”
- 1151
Heard on scanner: “Please respond to a cow chasing a chihuahua.”
- 1150
Editor to photographer who has been coughing for about two weeks: “Either die or get better — (under his breath) — Preferably the former…”
- 1149
In the cupboard that passes for a newsroom kitchen: Subeditor: “Some bastard’s got the company fork.” Web journalist: “That’s the real reason the company is cutting jobs. It’s cutlery costs.”
- 1148
“It should be wrong to arrest people for public intox at a Taco Bell.”
- 1147
Vintage copy editor, genuinely confused: “So what is this teabagging I’m reading about.” Features desk: “Ummmm, Google it?”
