Dive into the archives.
- 1206
“We need more emoticons. We really could have used a guy shooting himself in the head last night.”
Editor on new instant-messaging software.
- 1205
Editor to newsroom: “I think I’m going to go bury myself in donuts.”
- 1204
Editor: “With sports photos, it’s ball, face, action.”
- 1203
Editor: “We don’t have time for journalism anymore. We’re too busy putting out the paper.”
- 1202
Reporter: “This lady on the phone wants to know if we know anything about an explosion in her area.”
Editor: “Tell her it was the Rapture and she got left behind.”
- 1201
“Either I have to have my doctor put me on some happy pills or this ain’t gonna last.”
Reporter after his first day in the newsroom’s reorganization
- 1200
Editor: “Martha, how many times do you get to put a dead cat on the front page?”
- 1199
Two editors discussing Guitar Hero:
“I like it, but I can’t do the pinky button.”
“Dude, I was pinkying all night.”
- 1198
Reporter: “Do a story on the experiences of sexual minorities on campus.”
Editor: (Serious) “Oh, you mean virgins?”
- 1197
Discussing the line between news and opinions
Reporter: “Opinions is only on the other side of the page.”
- 1196
Editor: “All the strip clubs are closing, one by one. The Internet is ruining it for everyone!”
- 1195
“All we need is the red light out front. If we’re going to be whores, we might as well do it right.”
After hearing that Gannett bought the paper
- 1194
“I will die in a pandemic, but I will be damned if I will call that pandemic “H1N1.’”
- 1193
“There are plenty of people I consider friends who suck at their jobs! You are not one of them.”
One reporter talking to another
- 1192
“He keeps saying that he has 20 years of experience as a reporter – what he doesn’t tell you is that he’s repeated the first six months 40 times.”
- 1191
“Sorry, I haven’t slept at all, because our dog diarrhea’d all over our bed.”
- 1190
Courts reporter on the phone: “Don’t show up to court drunk. I would really recommend you should not show up to court drunk. Are you drunk right now?”
- 1189
Producer: “You can’t support Obama unconditionally.”
Group of other producers: “YES. WE. CAN.”
- 1188
On police scanner: “I need a Hispanic-speaking officer to meet me at this location.”
News editor: “Does he mean a Spanish-speaking officer, or a Hispanic officer who’s not mute?”
- 1187
Crime reporter listening to the scanner on her 25th birthday:
“If I get a murder today that would be the best present ever.”
Laughter in newsroom followed by another reporter adding:
“Hallmark doesn’t make that card.”
