Dive into the archives.
- 938
City Reporter of 25+ years heading home at the end of the day: “I better go use the facilities, one less flush at home!”
- 937
“I was with a guy for about 20 years and then he passed, then I tried a few women but I didn’t like them.” Male photographer talking about his hair stylists
- 936
Reporter: “I have some breaking news when you guys sober up.” Editorial assistant: “I’m pretty sober, what’s up?”
- 935
Editor: “Sometimes it’s the ugly girl who really comes through for ya.” An analogy to a poorly designed Twitter widget with better functionality.
- 934
Editor to caller: “Unfortunately, Sir, we don’t have anything to do with Jay Leno.”
- 933
24 Months Pregnant Looking Male Director: “Salad is one of my favourite foods. I eat it all the time!” Graphics Op: “Interesting – I was unaware they renamed your disorder a ‘Salad Gut’…”
- 932
Watching “Dancing with the Stars”: “How come if you do that to a woman there, it’s dancing, but you do that in the street, it’s abuse?”
- 931
Reporter to Editor: “I’m sorry I called you a bastard.”
- 930
This sentence I just typed to a colleague made more sense in context: “Thank heavens for cop killers.”
- 929
“The Internet is a series of tubes & if too many people travel the Internet to see my stories those tubes get clogged.”
- 928
Editor: “I see no end in sight until it’s over.”
- 927
Reporter: “I didn’t really need an answer to those last two questions. I just asked them to piss him off.”
- 926
“As you know, I came three times, which is a record for me.” Reporter discussing theater
- 925
“I’m not drunk. I’m business drunk and that doesn’t count.”
- 924
Arts and Culture editor: “Thankfully, I have only five articles, but that’s like saying ‘thankfully, I only have five outbreaks of herpes.’”
- 923
Web specialist: “The more I look at government, it’s like they never got out of high school. They’re still trying to get a table at lunch next to the popular kids. Emotionally, they never left student council, they just have bigger budgets.”
- 922
Gravelly voiced copy editor to a colleague’s 5-year-old son, who is visiting the newsroom: “Stay out of the newspaper business, kid.”
- 921
“Vacation all I ever wanted, vacation furlough, it’s unpaid!” Reporter singing about mandatory unpaid furloughs that were just instituted, to the tune of the Go Gos.
- 920
“What’s gonna save us is good journalism.” Um-hmmm. How’s that working for you?
- 919
Editor: “This guy’s name is Donald Fries. He’s making me hungry. Like that lady in that other story named Hamburg.”
