Dive into the archives.
- 958
Editor to reader on the phone suggesting a feel-good story: “I’m sorry, but there’s just too much bad news today to fit in anything else.”
- 957
Editor, after an hour long interview with paranoid schizophrenic: “I like that the police department always tells the crazies to tell the newspaper. The next time a proud mom comes in with her Eagle Scout, I’m gong to say, ‘Dear Lord, he did what? You have to tell the police!’”
- 956
Reporter: “Is it still bestiality if the goat is dead?”
- 955
“I can’t find my fun.”
- 954
Reporter – randomly: “I’m itchy down there.”
- 953
“My pants won’t stop ringing.” He said, reaching for his phone.
- 952
“I don’t have a soul – I make fun of dead kids. I think those are mutually exclusive.”
- 951
“They will probably throw feral cat pee on me.” Reporter discussing backlash from a recent story on the county’s feral cat problem
- 950
“GO!’s a better name. ‘My Time’ sounds like a thing you do in the shower.”
- 949
Random paper carrier on Duke’s loss: “They didn’t cry last night. They took that whoopin’ like a man!”
- 948
“All I want to do is give him a wedgie.”
- 947
News editor to the page designer about a breaking news story and the available (while on the phone with the backshop, no less): “Hey, how big is your hole?” After a two second delay, the whole night desk broke out in laughter.
- 946
“Would you be able to resend that information via the internet?” Reporter on the phone
- 945
Ad Placement Guy: “I wanna see how they scheduled that package.” Female Ad Rep: “I wanna see everybody’s package!”
- 944
“What kind of pill can I take to improve my focus? I love all kinds of pills.”
- 943
“No, there are no blue-haired people on ‘Star Trek’”
- 942
Sports editor: “It’s spring time. The sun is out. The zombies are out. I love spring.”
- 941
Discussing Perez Hilton’s website Features Editor: “Ew, there’s cum on Natalie Portman’s mouth.” Photo Editor: “He puts cum on everyone’s mouth.” News Editor: “Um…what?”
- 940
“Way to cuss in a headline, big guy”
- 939
After eating three free cheeseburgers at a public function: First Editor: “I feel like I have a fatty tumor in my stomach.” Second Editor: “I think you’d eat that, too.” First Editor: “If you put ketchup on it.”
